Monthly Archives: May 2015

The Ease Of Transmitting Contempt

None of us likes contempt. We shy away from it for the most part. We don’t want to live with it. We don’t want others looking at us with it. But yet, at times, it is so easy to spread around. If we find ourselves in a bad mood, it spreads. If we become judgmental, it spreads. If we have misunderstandings, it spreads. The sad truth is, contempt is easily caught, much like a virus. And if we remain unaware as to its capabilities, we become its victim.

Hurt by Diamante

If someone hurts you, you will feel contempt toward them. And that is understandable. It takes great strength not to act on it if you find yourself in that position. It is truly a person of great character and wisdom who knows how to proceed in peace and not take up the hateful attitude that contempt brings. It is always easier to get mad than to forgive. Forgiving, however, creates a much more well rounded person in the end. And a much healthier, happier one. But it takes great effort to be that type of person.

Using scapegoats is a common practice. When a certain person harms you, you want to react in the same way to all people who remind you of the person that victimized you. That is a normal reaction as well. But think about practicing that type of mindset. You just may be victimizing someone innocent. And kind. You never know until you completely understand each person you are interacting with. It also re-victimizes you in the process by dredging up old pain and agony. Why do it? It’s so much better to seek peace.

There is such a tendency to want to criticize others who are different. And the sad truth is you are different as well. Different to many people who don’t understand or know you. So does that give others a right to tread on your humanity? No. We need to practice temperance toward each other because nobody is perfect. If you find yourself having a bad day, the best policy is to hold your tongue or seclude yourself until you get you mindset under control. There is enough hate in the world. What we need is love and peace.

The old adage of treating someone as you would like to be treated is very true. Even Jesus talked to sinners. In fact, He singled them out so that He could help them. And the sad truth is, that is all of us. None of us is perfect. So why don’t we try to make the world a better place by being considerate and a little kinder….by practicing empathy rather than anger? Just think of how wonderful this world could be if we all tried a little harder to be just a little more understanding. I, myself, am extremely grateful for everyone who extends kindness to me. Because I’m not perfect. In reality, nobody is. When I’m having a bad day, just having someone smile at me and hold a door open can change my perspective, no matter who they happen to be. So how about being a gateway of love to others around us? Who knows? Maybe we could even find ourselves a little closer to heaven? I wouldn’t mind that. Would you?

Interview With Joan, From Breaking The Silence

Interviewer: Hi, Joan. Thanks for agreeing to do an interview. Why don’t you give me a background of your story?
Joan: Breaking The Silence is my personal story. It is the story of my life and what happened to me. I agreed to have Diamante write Breaking The Silence in an attempt to help others who have gone through the same abuse and problems that I have.

Breaking 500

Interviewer: How are you hoping that telling your story will help others?
Joan: Well, people that have been molested and sexually abused usually feel alone, like no one else can understand their situation. I wanted my story to help them realize that they aren’t alone. And to help them know that they can heal no matter how severe their abuse was.

Interviewer: Is it possible for someone to heal completely if they have been sexually abused?
Joan: Yes, healing is possible. It is a long process. it definitely takes time. And it takes understanding. That is why people need to hear my story. To know someone understands and has felt the pain they are feeling. It will give them hope that they can and will get better.

Interviewer: Have you completely healed?
Joan: When you say completely, do you mean to ask if I never think of what happened to me any more?

Interviewer: I mean have you been able to move on successfully without your past haunting you any more?
Joan: What happened to me will always haunt me. I’ll never forget it. But I have come to terms with it and I realize there are good days and bad days, but the bad days don’t last forever. I have hope that better days will come again.

Interviewer: So people who have been sexually abused will never forget? What can you tell them that will give them hope?
Joan: I can tell them that the pain will lessen year by year as they deal with their abuse and the issues it has caused in their lives. I can also tell them that the days will get better more frequently as time goes on….they will reach a point where they may not think of what happened to them for six months before they have a flashback. And then when they do, it won’t last long at all. It is possible to be happy. I mean, nobody’s life is perfect.

Interviewer: How have you healed over the years?
Joan: By my belief in God, by going to counseling for years, by believing in myself more and by believing in the possibility of my dreams coming true.

Interviewer: In closing, what advice would you give to someone who has experienced sexual abuse?
Joan: I would tell them to read my book, to get in touch with a good counselor and to find a group they could join to meet others who have been through what they’ve been through. It is critical to have hope and to know that others have made it through that type of trauma. And I would tell them they are never alone. And they aren’t damaged. They can absolutely heal and have a wonderful life if they are willing to face their demons. As I call it, they can become mighty overcomers!

Interviewer: Thank you, Joan, for sharing your story and for being willing to help others. I wish you great luck with all of your endeavors and I hope your book helps many people to become ‘mighty overcomers’!

Happy Mother’s Day

“I love you, mom,” she said;
“I know you do,” I answered.

My thoughts became stepping stones,
Leading down a path in my mind.

I remembered her youth;
Her first words, her first steps;

“Mama,” she babbled, holding chubby arms wide,
For me to pick her up.

Then she was leaving on the bus,
For the first day of school;

I stood in the driveway,
And watched the bus take my baby away.

“I think he likes me,” she smiled as she
Showed me his picture. “Isn’t he cute?”

I unwrapped her first purchased gift in pink wrapping paper;
A bottle of perfume for my birthday.

She smiled and waved as she got behind the wheel
Of her first car, honking the horn as she left.

“I’m pregnant,” her voice cracked
On the other end of the phone.

I heard the cries of my first grandchild
As I watched her being born;

I held my granddaughter, marveling at her
Soft cheeks and perfect little fingers and toes.

I took the gift from my daughter.
My grandchild looked up at me and smiled.

“I love you too,” I said softly.
“Happy Mother’s Day.”