Author Archives: Diamante Lavendar

Life Is A Pandora’s Box (Excerpt From Finding Hope In The Darkness Of Grief)

In my most recent book, Finding Hope In The Darkness Of Grief, I wrote a statement in the foreword section of the book that I will be elaborating on. Following is what I wrote. This three dimensional plane offers much for us to learn: happiness, wisdom, understanding, pain, loss, heartbreak, wonder and enlightenment. It is a Pandora’s box of emotions, situations, opportunities, and failures, all wrapped into a package we call life. Nobody is immune.

Why did I write Finding Hope In The Darkness Of Grief?  

I decided to write Finding Hope In The Darkness Of Grief to help my readers come to terms with hardships they’ve faced in life. Life has a way of creating a roller coaster effect for us. Some days we’re high on life, laughing, content, fulfilled. Then come the days when we’re angry, hurt and bitter. The hard days will always come because that’s how we learn.

We each have a purpose.  

Each of us was created to leave a footprint on this planet that will remain long after we’re gone. The only way we can leave that footprint is by finding out who we are and what we do best in the most positive sense possible. Our experiences in life are the ways in which we learn. When we realize what our talents are, we can lean on Spirit to help us make our destinies come to pass.

Living your purpose is a beautiful thing.  

Have you ever felt the amazing beauty of beholding something only you could do? Whether it be a child you’ve had, something you’ve created, a way in which you’ve helped someone else or a tribute or talent you’ve shared with the world, something you-and only you-could do? The feeling is monumental. Awesome. Fulfilling. A reason why you have been set upon this planet for such a time as this!

We are so diverse as a species.  

The human race is so talented and abundant  that the possibilities of destiny cover a huge range of ideas, circumstances and situations. Some of us are born to help the environment, others to bake, still others to sing and dance and create beautiful things. The sky is the limit where human potential is concerned. And what you’ve been set here to do is what you love. What you gravitate to. Life has a way of honing your skills until they’re ready to be unleashed upon society and the planet.

We each have been called to learn.  

Without the valleys of heartbreak and the mountains of happiness those talents aren’t defined. We all need the wisdom, understanding, compassion, gratitude, forgiveness and awareness that refines our capabilities so that we contribute our absolute best.  That means experiencing the good, and bad, in life.

Spiritual insights are valuable ways in which to grow.  

I share spiritual insights in my book that I’ve learned through living. Things that have spurred me on to bigger and better aspects of life. Sharing the bliss of your best is a momentous occasion in which to prosper. Spiritual truths guide and heal. Spirit’s love improves and expounds upon that which you have been born to complete. With the help and vision of clarity from these insights, I have found that I am able to contribute on a larger and larger scale. It is my hope that you will be too. We need you! We are all important parts of the whole!

A Childlike Faith

(In The Mind Of A Child by Diamante Lavendar)

When you are young, you are expected to act like a child. Adults cater to your imagination and
your impulses. They laugh at your silliness. But they scold when you act too foolish or impetuous. Being a child is a wonderful thing if you are living in a safe, happy environment. Being a child can also be torturous if you find yourself in an unsafe, angry environment.

As you mature, you are expected to act like an adult, to see things with an adult perspective. And that is very important. However, I’m writing today to submit the suggestion that it is still important to have a childlike faith even when you’re older. Why? Because it makes your path of spirit and purpose a little easier.

This world is many times one of condemnation and indignation. Unforgiveness reigns supreme among people who don’t understand each other. Not everyone lives that way, but many do. And we can only gain wisdom about what we’ve experienced not only firsthand but through those we are connected to. What our friends and family have gone through affects us. Our experiences and our family and friend’s experiences formulate into ideas and concepts, possibly rules, within our lives.

This is where spirit steps in. We are coaxed to have the faith of a child. It says in the bible that those with childlike faith inherit the kingdom of heaven. Why would this be so? Because life throws curve balls of pain and anguish at us. And if we can’t find an answer to the problems, we develop resistance and anger that takes root deep inside our souls and spirits. It takes courage to have faith like a child when you’re an adult. Great courage. You may be labeled as “simplistic” by some. But this type of faith is a great asset because it opens you up to deeper spiritual understanding.

Life is hard. For everyone. In order to “go with the flow”, we need to fight the compelling desire to rebel when hardship hits. I’m not saying that in some cases the police and court system don’t need to step in. What I am saying is that inside our hearts we must be willing to be pliable enough to be able to bounce back when we are devastated. If a loved one dies, divorce ravages us or some other harmful plight happens, it does no good to live in anger and resentment. If we do we are only hurting ourselves.  We must be willing to yield to spirit’s call of childlike faith in order to withstand the storms and torrents of life. What doesn’t kill us does make us stronger.

Children are amazing little vessels of hope and positivity. They don’t need an explanation in order to forgive and move on. What a world it would be if we could live with that type of attitude. The destruction would lessen so much that it would make this world a much better place. Pain would still be prevalent but probably not running rampant as it does today. Looking at the world through the eyes of a child is an amazing gift and a wonderful, accepting state of being.

Broken Heart Syndrome

It is actually true that someone could die of a broken heart. When a loved one suddenly and unexpectedly passes away, those left behind can experience what would seem to be heart trouble. It is thought that broken heart syndrome is caused by a surge of stress hormones in the bereaved person. (mayoclinic.org).

Broken heart syndrome can also be caused by other stressful things such as abuse, a dire medical diagnosis, divorce and strong arguments. People who have endured a lot of loss in life are more susceptible. It is possible to have broken heart syndrome more than once in a lifetime too. (mayoclinic.org)

There are 11 documented cases of dying from a broken heart that you can read about here:https://thoughtcatalog.com/daniel-hayes/2015/11/documented-cases-of-people-actually-dying-of-a-broken-heart/

When my kids died, it devastated me. It changed my personality and outlook. As each tragedy occurred, I was affected more deeply. Having a broken heart is real. I began writing about the loss in my life not only to vent but also to help other people who found themselves in the same situations. It takes guts to heal and sometimes we don’t feel like we can. In my case, my spiritual beliefs have carried me through.

If you’d like to read more about my experiences and the insight I gleaned from them, I have three published books that talk about my life. Breaking The Silence and Poetry and Ponderings, which have both been very well received, deal with abuse and loss. Finding Hope In The Darkness Of Grief, my most recent book, speaks of the devastating loss of my 18 year old daughter. These books are inspirational and have helped many people already. It is my prayer that they can help many, many more.

Find Your Purpose

We are all put here on this planet for a reason. Each of us has a purpose for our lives that we are here to fulfill. Not any two people have exactly the same destiny. We are all unique with our own talents to share.

I am a firm believer in this. Some of us are born to be business people, others to be caretakers and still others to be artists and myriads of other things. This is a big world with big opportunities. That’s why it’s important to know what your God given gift is.

We all have hopes and dreams. Those dreams were set upon our hearts as inspiration. Those dreams are the stuff of what we are destined to do. The dreams we are given are as widely varied as each person who lives. As long as those dreams lead us down a road of love and positivity, we can be assured that they are our roadmap to happiness and contentment.

Society needs all types of people and purposes to thrive. People from all echelons. Whether you’re a cleaning lady or a CEO you have purpose and destiny. Whatever your destiny is, it will fulfill you. It will give your life a reason.

I started writing as soon as I began to learn to spell words. My poems were ridiculous but I loved creating them. I also loved art from as young as I can remember. Whatever lights your fire and brings hope and love to yourself and those around you, go after it. Let it consume you. When you are satiated by your purpose you can’t help to be happy. Don’t get distracted. If you have found your reason for living, allow it to overtake you.

I’d love to hear some of your stories. Feel free to message me about your gifts and talents. Together we can make this planet pulse with love and creativity! Just go for the gusto and continue on for however long you’ve been put here to thrive!

A Photography Win From The American Art Awards!

I am jazzed to say that one of my pieces of photography won 3rd place in the American Art Awards! This is a great honor since artists from 59 countries enter. Not only that but the winning pieces of work are juried by 25 of the best museums and art galleries in America! So this is a wonderful honor!

When great things happen in life, be sure to rejoice!  It’s wonderful to have good news between the curveballs that life throws at us.  If you don’t celebrate the ‘wins’,  you’ll feel inundated by the harder things that come to call.

Last year I was pleasantly surprised that I won three times in the digital art category as well, so this is a very sweet reward! If you’d like to check out my winning art from last year, you can find it at the link below. The pieces that won in 2017 are Taken, Angel Of Light and Of One Accord.

Art site:  https://diamante-lavendar.pixels.com

Thanks for visiting!

Why I Wrote Finding Hope In The Darkness Of Grief

Some of you may be familiar with my story by now.  But many  of you aren’t.  It’s my hope that the books I write will help my readers emerge from hardship and trauma with valiant trust that things will get better again.  That life will even out and be okay.  That is the core reason why I write.

Over the course of fifty plus years of living, I have experienced quite a bit.  My life has been difficult.  For the first thirty years I felt like I had been pummelled by the hands of fate.  I was disconcerted, angry, heartbroken and depressed.  I had been molested from the age of two to twelve.  From there I became an alcoholic and drug addict.  During those years I got pregnant, not realizing it, and drank and did drugs up until I realized I was pregnant.  My doctor counselled me to have an abortion.  I did.  Now I deeply regret my actions.  Then I quit doing so many drugs but continued in alcoholism.  I found myself pregnant again.  I went into preterm labor and my baby girl died.  That nearly decimated me.  But somehow I walked out of the rubble, though I was stunned and ashamed.  For twenty years I mourned my actions.  It was during those twenty years that I got married and had two more children.  My youngest was born with a rare syndrome.  I lived in fear for the first ten years of her life.  Her doctors told me that she would be fine.  They said she’d lead a full, healthy life.  I finally began to feel as though everything would work out.  Eight years later (nearly two years ago now), she died.  At the tender age of eighteen.  That was the icing on the cake.  I literally threw myself to the winds of fate and felt I knew nothing about life.   After digging myself out of the ashes once again I wrote Finding Hope In The Darkness Of Grief.

I wish I could say life was easy but I know it isn’t.  Every day I watch the news with one eye closed (I really dislike negativity now-I strive to stay very positive) as my husband watches TV.  So much trauma.   So much pain.  I realize I’m not the only one suffering.  Everyone suffers at least some time in their lives.  That is why I wrote Finding Hope In The Darkness Of Grief.  And my other two books:  Breaking The Silence and Poetry and Ponderings.  I wanted to help others by letting them know they’re not alone.  I wanted to pass on the things that I’ve learned so that my work could be a place of refuge to my readers.

It’s been rough.  “The hard way” is a statement I can attest to.  Over the years I’ve developed a deep faith in God (Spirit).  My books are packed with spiritual insight and wisdom that I have gleaned over the past fifty plus years.  Without my faith I would have sunk under the pressure that I’ve been confronted with time and time again.

If you’re suffering, or know someone who is, please take a look at my work.  I truly wish to be of help.  I’d love to hear stories from my readers that attest to what my writing meant to them.  Feel free to contact me.  I’m all over the internet-facebook, twitter, instagram and google plus is where I hang out the most.  But you can also find me on pinterest and linkedin.

Now that you know my motives for writing, I’d love to hear from you!

5 Ways To Feel Happier

1. Try meditation. Think about what you’re grateful for. Be thankful for the things and people in your life that bring you joy. Remember that each day is a gift as are the loved ones around you. You can’t feel bleak for too long with a grateful mindset!

2. Decorate with fresh flowers. There’s just something about the bright beauty and intoxicating smell of flowers that will always be uplifting. I believe flowers are a gift from spirit made just for that purpose! Even a single flower in a vase will go a long way in bringing on a sense of goodwill and appreciation!

3.  Buy a new perfume or cologne. Smells make a big difference in how you feel.  When you smell a skunk, not so happy! But a spritz of cologne or perfume immediately tells the brain that there is something pretty amazing in your vicinity! Certain people enjoy different smells, so pick one you love!

4. Take a walk and enjoy the fresh air. There’s nothing like Mother Nature to lift your spirits. Just breathing fresh air can change your thought processes. When you realize that the earth is your sustenance, not only do you want to enhance and protect it  but you are thankful to have such an amazing ecosystem to be a part of!

5.  Redecorate your home. Changing your living space is a very influential way to feel happier. You don’t have to do anything drastic. Simply move your furniture around. Maybe invest in some furniture throws or new rugs. A little bit of money can go a long way in making your home feel fresh and inviting!

Don’t Take It Personally

 

 

Everybody has good days and bad days. Sometimes we have bad months or years. It is at these times that we need to remember not to take hardship personally.

We’d all love to believe that life will be good for the most part. Many times we don’t want to admit that life can be horrible and that difficulty can plague us for long periods of time. But I believe it is better to realize and admit that life can be harsh. Why? Because being realistic helps us to handle pain better. If we continue to look at life through rose colored glasses, hardships can shatter us to the core. When we see life in realistic circumstances we no longer need to pretend that everything should be perfect. We realize perfection is an unattainable and frustrating goal.

No matter who we are or what we do, there will always be people who don’t empathize. And there will eventually be unforeseen circumstances that will come to call. A healthy attitude accepts those truths. When we learn not to take life personally, we will be much more balanced mentally, spiritually and physically.

For example, those of you who know my story know that I have lost several children. After my first child passed away, I felt I had been betrayed by spirit. I was angry and hurt. Bitterness grew inside me like bushes of thorns. I couldn’t believe spirit would do something so heinous. I wrestled with guilt, pain and remorse for years upon years. Eventually I came to a place of acceptance. Though it was hard, I realized that there are no laws in life which prevent pain and anguish from striking. And striking hard. In fact, I came to understand that disasters happen. I found my way through only to lose another child twenty years later. When my second child passed, I wanted to give up. I thought I had failed in some way. But I came to understand that life was never promised to be perfect. In fact, the only promise we have in life is that we are born, we live to the best of our abilities in the days were are given and then we leave. I don’t believe in death. I believe what we call death is simply a transformation similar to a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis. I learned not to take it personally.

Maturation means growing up. Not only physically, but mentally and spiritually as well. Through the turmoil I’ve dealt with during my lifetime, I’ve come to the conclusion that we are here to learn lessons and to improve our responses to those lessons, however harsh they may be. I consider our time on planet earth as a classroom. The bigger the lesson, the more blessed the experience will make things for us beyond our time here. We aren’t here to have fun, laugh and party 24/7. Sometimes, yes. Other times, no. We are here to learn more important things such as patience, love, redemption, forgiveness and compassion. If we are able to transform our scars into art forms upon our souls, we have succeeded in our time here. We have succeeded in learning depth, character and making beauty from the ashes that plague us.

If you are hurting or you know someone who is, inspire them to find hope and truth in the midst of their trauma. With compassion and understanding, they will arise from the ashes of their situation stronger, wiser and knowing not to take hardship personally.

Finding Hope In The Darkness Of Grief Is A Double Award Winner!

I am excited and pleased to say that Finding Hope In The Darkness Of Grief just won another award from the Pinnacle Book Achievement Awards!

This book of art, poetry and prose was written to give readers faith and hope that it is possible to have a life after a consuming loss. Death, divorce, illness and tragedy all threaten to stop us in our tracks. And for a while it does. But in my book, I embrace the concepts of spirituality and strength to bring hope and renewal into the heart and soul.

When we are weak and feel that we can’t recover from the blows life throws at us, that is the time to find strength in our weakness and regeneration in our spirits.

Art and writing can help so much to garner much needed strength in our lives. And empathy and compassion gird us up with the understanding that we’re not alone.

If you or someone you know needs encouragement, please consider this book as a help.

Basic Humanity

 

Instead of selfishness
Consider your brother;
God put us on earth
To help each other.

Instead of anger
Be willing to discover
How we can inspire
And respect each other.

What is the truth
That we live to uncover?
To extend a hand
And uplift each other!

Why are there millions
Of us living together?
To see we’re all part
Of Spirit’s creations and treasures.

We are all different
Yet the same in vast numbers;
We’re playing life’s game
In our hopes to remember:

We search for a purpose,
We yearn to recover
The reason we’re here-
To love one another!