Conflicted about the role of (in)fidelity in relationships?
Hurt? Angry? Confused?
Need simple, sound advice?
The author can relate. She’s been on both sides of the fence and addresses infidelity prevention in real terms. This is a much-needed book for those with a desire to know, and those in the throes of desire re: (in)fidelity in a committed relationship. An honest, easy, concise read that gets to the crux of the matter, with bits of humor thrown in for good measure. It offers up plenty of points to ponder; along with valuable information, statistics, commentary, personal stories (including the author’s own) and surveys for examination.
Guidelines are given to preserve integrity and respect before falling victim to the harmful backlash of infidelity–and it’s a big one. The purpose is to promote awareness, education, personal accountability, and growth. Bottom line: cheating is defeating. Right? This is your call to action, no matter which side of the fence you find yourself. Get healthy, get happy, get reading. This is where the change-up begins!
Interview with Elda:
1. Why did you decide to write this book?
I decided to write this book because infidelity has gone absolutely wild, and it’s annoying. High profile people are continuously dropping left and right (it was also a point of contention during the recent presidential campaign), so you can imagine what’s happening in our own backyards, and bedrooms. Infidelity is becoming normalized. Why? Why is this acceptable? Prevention is key, so I took to mine and kept typing away.
Having been on both sides of the fence, I know the struggles–not pretty. There is much to be lost when adultery enters a committed relationship: emotionally, financially, psychologically; not to mention the possible extended mayhem: arson, dismemberment, murder–all real! This behavior affects everyone involved. Because infidelity is such a highly emotionally charged topic, most people don’t realize there are various backstories; nor the scope of the fallout. I wanted to address infidelity prevention in a manner that would be easy to comprehend and hopefully, make a difference.
2. What do you hope to accomplish through this book’s publication?
My hope is that someone, anyone, will have at least one positive takeaway that can be applied to their life. Better overall understanding, eye-opening moments, and paying the good forward are also welcomed. I emphasize self-awareness, personal accountability, and growth. These aren’t easy subjects for people to acknowledge, but they are essential components for infidelity prevention.
When my ex-husband cheated on me, I chose to take a look at myself as well. His actions were definitely of his own doing, but I had contributed to our disconnect on some level. It’s difficult for people to look at themselves, much less when they’ve been betrayed. I get that. However, I didn’t want to take unproductive patterns with me into a future relationship. And, I certainly wasn’t going to play the victim card. I wanted to get healthy. That’s what I wish for others, on a very large scale. My goal is not to eradicate infidelity, my mission is to bring awareness and do some educating while I’m at it. I’d like to switch up legislature too. I have a very long to-do list!
3. Do you have any other published work?
So far, this is my only book. At some point, I’d like to do a broader version (are you listening lit. agents?). I’ve learned a tremendous amount during this whole process. I consider myself to be nonjudgmental, but I’ve had to continuously push back my boundaries to accommodate someone’s else’s reality with infidelity. It’s a huge subject with many tangents. There’s still tons of work to do. This particular plate is always full: I’ve been known to have a hearty appetite.
4. What is one surprising fact you’d like your readers to know about you?
Surprising fact about me? A million years ago in college, I studied abroad at the University of Copenhagen, Denmark: one of the best experiences of my life. It’s a lovely country. I lived with a Danish family with whom I’m still in contact. We’ve also exchanged visits. They truly are an extension of my immediate family. Also, I flunked out of two classes due to my love of travel. Hey, life experience is just as important as book experience. Luckily, I had enough credits so that it didn’t make a difference. Besides, what I gained was absolutely priceless.
5. If you could fulfill one wish in life, what would it be?
One wish: That all my wishes will be fulfilled. I’m getting closer!
Where you can find Elda: