Category Archives: Perspectives

A Childlike Faith

(In The Mind Of A Child by Diamante Lavendar)

When you are young, you are expected to act like a child. Adults cater to your imagination and
your impulses. They laugh at your silliness. But they scold when you act too foolish or impetuous. Being a child is a wonderful thing if you are living in a safe, happy environment. Being a child can also be torturous if you find yourself in an unsafe, angry environment.

As you mature, you are expected to act like an adult, to see things with an adult perspective. And that is very important. However, I’m writing today to submit the suggestion that it is still important to have a childlike faith even when you’re older. Why? Because it makes your path of spirit and purpose a little easier.

This world is many times one of condemnation and indignation. Unforgiveness reigns supreme among people who don’t understand each other. Not everyone lives that way, but many do. And we can only gain wisdom about what we’ve experienced not only firsthand but through those we are connected to. What our friends and family have gone through affects us. Our experiences and our family and friend’s experiences formulate into ideas and concepts, possibly rules, within our lives.

This is where spirit steps in. We are coaxed to have the faith of a child. It says in the bible that those with childlike faith inherit the kingdom of heaven. Why would this be so? Because life throws curve balls of pain and anguish at us. And if we can’t find an answer to the problems, we develop resistance and anger that takes root deep inside our souls and spirits. It takes courage to have faith like a child when you’re an adult. Great courage. You may be labeled as “simplistic” by some. But this type of faith is a great asset because it opens you up to deeper spiritual understanding.

Life is hard. For everyone. In order to “go with the flow”, we need to fight the compelling desire to rebel when hardship hits. I’m not saying that in some cases the police and court system don’t need to step in. What I am saying is that inside our hearts we must be willing to be pliable enough to be able to bounce back when we are devastated. If a loved one dies, divorce ravages us or some other harmful plight happens, it does no good to live in anger and resentment. If we do we are only hurting ourselves.  We must be willing to yield to spirit’s call of childlike faith in order to withstand the storms and torrents of life. What doesn’t kill us does make us stronger.

Children are amazing little vessels of hope and positivity. They don’t need an explanation in order to forgive and move on. What a world it would be if we could live with that type of attitude. The destruction would lessen so much that it would make this world a much better place. Pain would still be prevalent but probably not running rampant as it does today. Looking at the world through the eyes of a child is an amazing gift and a wonderful, accepting state of being.

Broken Heart Syndrome

It is actually true that someone could die of a broken heart. When a loved one suddenly and unexpectedly passes away, those left behind can experience what would seem to be heart trouble. It is thought that broken heart syndrome is caused by a surge of stress hormones in the bereaved person. (mayoclinic.org).

Broken heart syndrome can also be caused by other stressful things such as abuse, a dire medical diagnosis, divorce and strong arguments. People who have endured a lot of loss in life are more susceptible. It is possible to have broken heart syndrome more than once in a lifetime too. (mayoclinic.org)

There are 11 documented cases of dying from a broken heart that you can read about here:https://thoughtcatalog.com/daniel-hayes/2015/11/documented-cases-of-people-actually-dying-of-a-broken-heart/

When my kids died, it devastated me. It changed my personality and outlook. As each tragedy occurred, I was affected more deeply. Having a broken heart is real. I began writing about the loss in my life not only to vent but also to help other people who found themselves in the same situations. It takes guts to heal and sometimes we don’t feel like we can. In my case, my spiritual beliefs have carried me through.

If you’d like to read more about my experiences and the insight I gleaned from them, I have three published books that talk about my life. Breaking The Silence and Poetry and Ponderings, which have both been very well received, deal with abuse and loss. Finding Hope In The Darkness Of Grief, my most recent book, speaks of the devastating loss of my 18 year old daughter. These books are inspirational and have helped many people already. It is my prayer that they can help many, many more.

Find Your Purpose

We are all put here on this planet for a reason. Each of us has a purpose for our lives that we are here to fulfill. Not any two people have exactly the same destiny. We are all unique with our own talents to share.

I am a firm believer in this. Some of us are born to be business people, others to be caretakers and still others to be artists and myriads of other things. This is a big world with big opportunities. That’s why it’s important to know what your God given gift is.

We all have hopes and dreams. Those dreams were set upon our hearts as inspiration. Those dreams are the stuff of what we are destined to do. The dreams we are given are as widely varied as each person who lives. As long as those dreams lead us down a road of love and positivity, we can be assured that they are our roadmap to happiness and contentment.

Society needs all types of people and purposes to thrive. People from all echelons. Whether you’re a cleaning lady or a CEO you have purpose and destiny. Whatever your destiny is, it will fulfill you. It will give your life a reason.

I started writing as soon as I began to learn to spell words. My poems were ridiculous but I loved creating them. I also loved art from as young as I can remember. Whatever lights your fire and brings hope and love to yourself and those around you, go after it. Let it consume you. When you are satiated by your purpose you can’t help to be happy. Don’t get distracted. If you have found your reason for living, allow it to overtake you.

I’d love to hear some of your stories. Feel free to message me about your gifts and talents. Together we can make this planet pulse with love and creativity! Just go for the gusto and continue on for however long you’ve been put here to thrive!

Why I Wrote Finding Hope In The Darkness Of Grief

Some of you may be familiar with my story by now.  But many  of you aren’t.  It’s my hope that the books I write will help my readers emerge from hardship and trauma with valiant trust that things will get better again.  That life will even out and be okay.  That is the core reason why I write.

Over the course of fifty plus years of living, I have experienced quite a bit.  My life has been difficult.  For the first thirty years I felt like I had been pummelled by the hands of fate.  I was disconcerted, angry, heartbroken and depressed.  I had been molested from the age of two to twelve.  From there I became an alcoholic and drug addict.  During those years I got pregnant, not realizing it, and drank and did drugs up until I realized I was pregnant.  My doctor counselled me to have an abortion.  I did.  Now I deeply regret my actions.  Then I quit doing so many drugs but continued in alcoholism.  I found myself pregnant again.  I went into preterm labor and my baby girl died.  That nearly decimated me.  But somehow I walked out of the rubble, though I was stunned and ashamed.  For twenty years I mourned my actions.  It was during those twenty years that I got married and had two more children.  My youngest was born with a rare syndrome.  I lived in fear for the first ten years of her life.  Her doctors told me that she would be fine.  They said she’d lead a full, healthy life.  I finally began to feel as though everything would work out.  Eight years later (nearly two years ago now), she died.  At the tender age of eighteen.  That was the icing on the cake.  I literally threw myself to the winds of fate and felt I knew nothing about life.   After digging myself out of the ashes once again I wrote Finding Hope In The Darkness Of Grief.

I wish I could say life was easy but I know it isn’t.  Every day I watch the news with one eye closed (I really dislike negativity now-I strive to stay very positive) as my husband watches TV.  So much trauma.   So much pain.  I realize I’m not the only one suffering.  Everyone suffers at least some time in their lives.  That is why I wrote Finding Hope In The Darkness Of Grief.  And my other two books:  Breaking The Silence and Poetry and Ponderings.  I wanted to help others by letting them know they’re not alone.  I wanted to pass on the things that I’ve learned so that my work could be a place of refuge to my readers.

It’s been rough.  “The hard way” is a statement I can attest to.  Over the years I’ve developed a deep faith in God (Spirit).  My books are packed with spiritual insight and wisdom that I have gleaned over the past fifty plus years.  Without my faith I would have sunk under the pressure that I’ve been confronted with time and time again.

If you’re suffering, or know someone who is, please take a look at my work.  I truly wish to be of help.  I’d love to hear stories from my readers that attest to what my writing meant to them.  Feel free to contact me.  I’m all over the internet-facebook, twitter, instagram and google plus is where I hang out the most.  But you can also find me on pinterest and linkedin.

Now that you know my motives for writing, I’d love to hear from you!

5 Ways To Feel Happier

1. Try meditation. Think about what you’re grateful for. Be thankful for the things and people in your life that bring you joy. Remember that each day is a gift as are the loved ones around you. You can’t feel bleak for too long with a grateful mindset!

2. Decorate with fresh flowers. There’s just something about the bright beauty and intoxicating smell of flowers that will always be uplifting. I believe flowers are a gift from spirit made just for that purpose! Even a single flower in a vase will go a long way in bringing on a sense of goodwill and appreciation!

3.  Buy a new perfume or cologne. Smells make a big difference in how you feel.  When you smell a skunk, not so happy! But a spritz of cologne or perfume immediately tells the brain that there is something pretty amazing in your vicinity! Certain people enjoy different smells, so pick one you love!

4. Take a walk and enjoy the fresh air. There’s nothing like Mother Nature to lift your spirits. Just breathing fresh air can change your thought processes. When you realize that the earth is your sustenance, not only do you want to enhance and protect it  but you are thankful to have such an amazing ecosystem to be a part of!

5.  Redecorate your home. Changing your living space is a very influential way to feel happier. You don’t have to do anything drastic. Simply move your furniture around. Maybe invest in some furniture throws or new rugs. A little bit of money can go a long way in making your home feel fresh and inviting!

Don’t Take It Personally

 

 

Everybody has good days and bad days. Sometimes we have bad months or years. It is at these times that we need to remember not to take hardship personally.

We’d all love to believe that life will be good for the most part. Many times we don’t want to admit that life can be horrible and that difficulty can plague us for long periods of time. But I believe it is better to realize and admit that life can be harsh. Why? Because being realistic helps us to handle pain better. If we continue to look at life through rose colored glasses, hardships can shatter us to the core. When we see life in realistic circumstances we no longer need to pretend that everything should be perfect. We realize perfection is an unattainable and frustrating goal.

No matter who we are or what we do, there will always be people who don’t empathize. And there will eventually be unforeseen circumstances that will come to call. A healthy attitude accepts those truths. When we learn not to take life personally, we will be much more balanced mentally, spiritually and physically.

For example, those of you who know my story know that I have lost several children. After my first child passed away, I felt I had been betrayed by spirit. I was angry and hurt. Bitterness grew inside me like bushes of thorns. I couldn’t believe spirit would do something so heinous. I wrestled with guilt, pain and remorse for years upon years. Eventually I came to a place of acceptance. Though it was hard, I realized that there are no laws in life which prevent pain and anguish from striking. And striking hard. In fact, I came to understand that disasters happen. I found my way through only to lose another child twenty years later. When my second child passed, I wanted to give up. I thought I had failed in some way. But I came to understand that life was never promised to be perfect. In fact, the only promise we have in life is that we are born, we live to the best of our abilities in the days were are given and then we leave. I don’t believe in death. I believe what we call death is simply a transformation similar to a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis. I learned not to take it personally.

Maturation means growing up. Not only physically, but mentally and spiritually as well. Through the turmoil I’ve dealt with during my lifetime, I’ve come to the conclusion that we are here to learn lessons and to improve our responses to those lessons, however harsh they may be. I consider our time on planet earth as a classroom. The bigger the lesson, the more blessed the experience will make things for us beyond our time here. We aren’t here to have fun, laugh and party 24/7. Sometimes, yes. Other times, no. We are here to learn more important things such as patience, love, redemption, forgiveness and compassion. If we are able to transform our scars into art forms upon our souls, we have succeeded in our time here. We have succeeded in learning depth, character and making beauty from the ashes that plague us.

If you are hurting or you know someone who is, inspire them to find hope and truth in the midst of their trauma. With compassion and understanding, they will arise from the ashes of their situation stronger, wiser and knowing not to take hardship personally.

Fairy Houses

Ever since I was a little kid I have loved fantasy. From epic adventures to gnomes and fairies, my mind was always in the clouds.
As a preteen I created notes for my siblings from gnomes who (supposedly)  lived in the walls of our house. I loved to pretend that creatures of fantasy were near at all times, just out of sight of the naked eye. I still enjoy thinking about these wonderful creatures. And I still talk about them-now to my grandchild.
Who knows if they aren’t just hiding in the flowers of our yards, waiting to cast beautiful nature spells amidst the stars of night? As part of my fantasy wonder, I have started to create fairy houses. Here are a few for you to enjoy:

I can just imagine tiny fairies with colorful hair and clothes moving in, their tinkling laughter riding on the wind as they bless the yard with flowers and dappled rays of sunshine.  Oh, what a wonderful dream!  Maybe that’s one thing the old nursery rhyme song meant:  “Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream…merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily-life is but a dream.”

 

My Interview With The Sacral Circle

I recently had an interview with Janie Terrazas from The Sacral Circle in which I discussed the background of my books and the impact that abuse and loss had on me in my life journey.  Life can be harsh and it can also be beautiful.  I believe that in order to deal with the hard times, we have to develop an attitude of gratitude and perseverance.

You can hear more at the link below:

https://sacredstoriesmedia.com/category/thesacralcircle/

Life In A Nutshell

Everything in life seems so important, sometimes dire-until we look at the big picture. The big picture keeps everything in its proper perspective.

Here is my digital art piece entitled Life In A Nutshell.  It’s a great reminder to keep yourself focused on what’s really important.

https://diamante-lavendar.pixels.com/featured/life-in-a-nutshell-diamante-lavendar.html

The Beauty Of Having A Clear Conscience

 

Everybody talks about having a clear conscience. Teachers tell their students to act conscientiously, ministers teach about conscious behavior, counselors guide their clients on how to be more conscientious and society itself praises upstanding, conscientious behavior. It’s something we should focus on it because it is important.

In this article, I will touch upon why it is important from a personal standpoint to have a clear conscience. This is a topic I’ve worked on most of my life and it’s probably a topic you’ve heard about in one way or another for most of yours too. So here goes!

First, having a clear conscience lifts you up energetically. Everybody knows that when they do bad things, they feel bad. They perceive life in a much more negative way. When you know you’re doing things for the right reasons it lifts you up. It makes you feel better about yourself and life in general. A clear conscience is a pathway to more happiness in life.

Second, a clear conscience facilitates peace. We all know the feeling of having done wrong, of having said negative things to ourselves and others. When we come from a negative viewpoint, the result is a negative outlook. Once we do the right thing for the right reasons and live positively according to what we do and say, we are much more peaceful. It’s a natural process and a great way to live.

Third, a clear conscience promotes healing. Have you ever tried to feel better while negativity swirls through your mind and heart? It’s not an easy process. When we feel crappy, we act crappy. When we have guilt over our actions or motives we live on a level of dis-ease in all types of forms. A clear conscience gives us the ease and peace we desire, therefore facilitating health and healing.

Another reason why having a clear conscience is awesome is that it opens us up for new possibilities. Why? Because when we clear negativity and turmoil from our lives, peace moves in and we think more about our dreams, our goals and our perception of things. When we are in a space of openness mentally and spiritually, we are more aware of beautiful people and things around us. Therefore we are more awakened to bigger and better things.

Number five touches on the same idea. A clear conscience opens us up to our hopes and dreams. Not only because we are more aware of things around us but also because we are in a more positive space. We are more readily able to dream and facilitate actions that will bring our dreams into reality.

Another great reason why a clear conscience is a beautiful thing is that a clear conscience will bring you freedom. How? Because you’re not stuck in the muck of “should’ve, would’ve, could’ve” and false beliefs. Negativity clouds the conscious mind like black smog. If you spend time contemplating false belief systems, (things like, “I’ve been hurt so badly I’ll never recover” or “My life has been so hard I’ll never be happy”), you’ll see very easily understand why clarity of your conscience will bring you freedom. If you embrace forgiveness, love and the possibilities of good things happening to you, you will feel much lighter. As if a breeze of peace blew into your consciousness. You’ll get a taste of freedom and you’ll be addicted to it!

Lastly, a clear conscience allows you to change your belief systems. And that’s a biggie when it comes to the pursuit of happiness! If you’re feeling guilty, tied down by negativity, shameful and angry, you naturally feel that life is bad. You are depressed and downtrodden and believe things will never change. However, when you turn the tables on your mental processes and start doing things for the right reasons and motivations, you will feel the upswing of positivity begin to flow in your life. And as your conscience clears, VOILA! You suddenly have renewed hope and vigor! You believe you can change your beliefs. And that needs to happen before your beliefs will ever change.

A clear conscience is a beautiful thing and requires work. But there are so many benefits to living in that type of mentality that it’s worth all the work that’s required. So face your demons, put them to rest and begin the process of conscious living! You will be eternally grateful that you did!