The Good, The Bad And…The Hysterical?

Henrietta was having a trying day, to say the least. Her day started when her alarm clock went off….30 minutes late!

“Oh, dear Lord!” She jumped out of bed, her heart racing as she rifled through her closet, grabbing the first thing she could find. Throwing it on, she jumped into a pair of black pumps. (They do go with anything, right?)

Racing out to the kitchen, she fumbled with the coffee maker and spilled water all over the floor.

I don’t have time for this! Forget the coffee! I’ll get some at the office!

She grabbed her purse and her briefcase and ran out to the garage.  Jumping in her car, she peeled out of the driveway after barely escaping ripping the garage door off the hinges.  Without thinking, she shut the garage door and flew down the street fifteen miles over the speed limit.

If I’m late again, my boss is going to have my head!

She drove onto the on ramp and floored it on the highway.  Soon she heard a siren and saw flashing red and blue lights in her rear view mirror.

Oh my God, you have got to be kidding me!  Now I’m going to be at least a half hour late!

She pulled to the side of the highway and watched the patrol officer walk to her car.

“Driver’s license and registration,”  he said flatly.  “Do you know how fast you were going?”  He looked inside the car and then stared at her sarcastically.

“Uh..I..ah…not really, sir,”  she stammered.

Oh my God.  My boss is going to kill me.

“Well, you were going twenty miles over the speed limit, ma’am.  Any excuse as to why this happened?”  The officer stated in a monotone.

“I’m late for work…”  Henrietta began.

“Well, ma’am, I hardly think that being late for work is an exceptional reason for putting your life and the lives of others at risk,”  the office stated, his face expressionless.

“Yes, sir.  Sorry…sir,”  Henrietta babbled, tears pricking at her eyes.  She handed him her license and registration.

“I will be a moment,”  the officer told her as he walked back to his car.

All because my alarm went off late.  Oh, God.  I hope I don’t lose my license.  Then I’ll get it for driving with a revoked license!  

She nervously glanced back at the squad car.  Finally, the officer got out and walked back over to her.

“Being late to work is no reason to put lives in danger.  At any rate, I’ve decided to only cite you for speeding ten miles per hour over the speed limit.  Here is your ticket.  If you wish to fight it, go to the scheduled hearing on the top of the ticket.  Otherwise, send in your fine before the court date or you may have a warrant out for your arrest.”  He stared at her.  “Any questions?”

“No, sir, thanks…”

“Very well.  Have a good day, ma’am,”  he said flatly.

He walked back to his car and she took off…going the speed limit.  She glanced at the ticket.

Two hundred fifty dollars?  Is he out of his freakin’ mind?

Tears stung at her eyes again.

I should just call in sick.  If this is any indication of how this day is going to go, I don’t want to go to work anyway.

Realizing she had to pay a two hundred and fifty dollar ticket, she decided to bite the bullet and show up to work late.

What’s the worst that could happen?

She drove to work…going the speed limit…and when she got there, her boss called her into his office.

“Henrietta, this is the third time this month that you’ve shown up late.  Any excuse this time?”

“Yes, sir.  I got pulled over by a cop.  And I got a ticket.”

“For what?”  he said sarcastically.

“For speeding, sir,”  she droned, feeling like a two year old that had just spilled grape juice on a white carpet.

“Hmmm.  For speeding,”  her boss nodded.  “Alright.  Well, I’m writing you up for being late again.”

“But sir…”

“Henrietta, you are over an hour late.  Apparently you were late before you even got pulled over.  How far away do you live?  Twenty minutes?”  He stated dryly.

“Uh..yes..”

“Okay then.  Don’t let it happen again.  If you get written up one more time you’ll be fired.”  He opened his desk.

She stared at him.

“Is there something else, Henrietta?”  he looked over at her.

“No, sir.  Nothing.”  She turned and walked out of his office.

She made her way to her office…a small room at the end of the hall.  She stepped inside, shut the door and went to her chair and collapsed into it.  She stretched back and took a deep breath of air.

 Okay.  Now things are going to calm down.  This will end up being a good day.

“Miss Wilkins?”  the secretary spoke on the intercom.  “Call.  Line four.”

“Put it through.”

She picked up the phone.  “What the Hell is going on with your stupid company?  I spoke to a guy down in customer service and got transferred three times and then I got disconnected and I had to call back.  I don’t even know who the Hell you are but I need to get this situation taken care of….”

Henrietta set the phone down on her desk and started to laugh hysterically.  Tears flowed down her cheeks because she began to laugh so hard.

When it rains it pours!  Thank you Jesus for giving me a sense of humor!  At least I still have it!  Don’t ever let me lose it, either!

After a few moments, she picked the phone back up.  The other end was quiet.  A few seconds later, she heard the same irritated voice.  “Hello?  Are you there?’

Sighing deeply, she answered.  “Yes.”  A fit of hysterics threatened to hit again as the person on the other end of the line started screaming.

“Yup.  That’s the stuff of life,”  she thought to herself.  The good, the bad and …the hysterical!

She set the phone down again as another laughing fit took her by storm.