Tag Archives: Diamante Lavendar blog

Broken Heart Syndrome

It is actually true that someone could die of a broken heart. When a loved one suddenly and unexpectedly passes away, those left behind can experience what would seem to be heart trouble. It is thought that broken heart syndrome is caused by a surge of stress hormones in the bereaved person. (mayoclinic.org).

Broken heart syndrome can also be caused by other stressful things such as abuse, a dire medical diagnosis, divorce and strong arguments. People who have endured a lot of loss in life are more susceptible. It is possible to have broken heart syndrome more than once in a lifetime too. (mayoclinic.org)

There are 11 documented cases of dying from a broken heart that you can read about here:https://thoughtcatalog.com/daniel-hayes/2015/11/documented-cases-of-people-actually-dying-of-a-broken-heart/

When my kids died, it devastated me. It changed my personality and outlook. As each tragedy occurred, I was affected more deeply. Having a broken heart is real. I began writing about the loss in my life not only to vent but also to help other people who found themselves in the same situations. It takes guts to heal and sometimes we don’t feel like we can. In my case, my spiritual beliefs have carried me through.

If you’d like to read more about my experiences and the insight I gleaned from them, I have three published books that talk about my life. Breaking The Silence and Poetry and Ponderings, which have both been very well received, deal with abuse and loss. Finding Hope In The Darkness Of Grief, my most recent book, speaks of the devastating loss of my 18 year old daughter. These books are inspirational and have helped many people already. It is my prayer that they can help many, many more.

The Beauty Of Having A Clear Conscience

 

Everybody talks about having a clear conscience. Teachers tell their students to act conscientiously, ministers teach about conscious behavior, counselors guide their clients on how to be more conscientious and society itself praises upstanding, conscientious behavior. It’s something we should focus on it because it is important.

In this article, I will touch upon why it is important from a personal standpoint to have a clear conscience. This is a topic I’ve worked on most of my life and it’s probably a topic you’ve heard about in one way or another for most of yours too. So here goes!

First, having a clear conscience lifts you up energetically. Everybody knows that when they do bad things, they feel bad. They perceive life in a much more negative way. When you know you’re doing things for the right reasons it lifts you up. It makes you feel better about yourself and life in general. A clear conscience is a pathway to more happiness in life.

Second, a clear conscience facilitates peace. We all know the feeling of having done wrong, of having said negative things to ourselves and others. When we come from a negative viewpoint, the result is a negative outlook. Once we do the right thing for the right reasons and live positively according to what we do and say, we are much more peaceful. It’s a natural process and a great way to live.

Third, a clear conscience promotes healing. Have you ever tried to feel better while negativity swirls through your mind and heart? It’s not an easy process. When we feel crappy, we act crappy. When we have guilt over our actions or motives we live on a level of dis-ease in all types of forms. A clear conscience gives us the ease and peace we desire, therefore facilitating health and healing.

Another reason why having a clear conscience is awesome is that it opens us up for new possibilities. Why? Because when we clear negativity and turmoil from our lives, peace moves in and we think more about our dreams, our goals and our perception of things. When we are in a space of openness mentally and spiritually, we are more aware of beautiful people and things around us. Therefore we are more awakened to bigger and better things.

Number five touches on the same idea. A clear conscience opens us up to our hopes and dreams. Not only because we are more aware of things around us but also because we are in a more positive space. We are more readily able to dream and facilitate actions that will bring our dreams into reality.

Another great reason why a clear conscience is a beautiful thing is that a clear conscience will bring you freedom. How? Because you’re not stuck in the muck of “should’ve, would’ve, could’ve” and false beliefs. Negativity clouds the conscious mind like black smog. If you spend time contemplating false belief systems, (things like, “I’ve been hurt so badly I’ll never recover” or “My life has been so hard I’ll never be happy”), you’ll see very easily understand why clarity of your conscience will bring you freedom. If you embrace forgiveness, love and the possibilities of good things happening to you, you will feel much lighter. As if a breeze of peace blew into your consciousness. You’ll get a taste of freedom and you’ll be addicted to it!

Lastly, a clear conscience allows you to change your belief systems. And that’s a biggie when it comes to the pursuit of happiness! If you’re feeling guilty, tied down by negativity, shameful and angry, you naturally feel that life is bad. You are depressed and downtrodden and believe things will never change. However, when you turn the tables on your mental processes and start doing things for the right reasons and motivations, you will feel the upswing of positivity begin to flow in your life. And as your conscience clears, VOILA! You suddenly have renewed hope and vigor! You believe you can change your beliefs. And that needs to happen before your beliefs will ever change.

A clear conscience is a beautiful thing and requires work. But there are so many benefits to living in that type of mentality that it’s worth all the work that’s required. So face your demons, put them to rest and begin the process of conscious living! You will be eternally grateful that you did!

The Amazing Power Of Grapefruit!

I’ve been having some health issues for a while now. Things like inflammation, water gain, swelling and high blood pressure. So I started looking for natural remedies for these symptoms. I’ve tried curcumin, cherry juice, fish oil and other herbs and vitamins. Those things do help, but, WOW! When I started eating grapefruit daily did I ever notice a huge change!
I looked up the wonderful fruit after I noticed that my body was responding very quickly to its effects. Not only has grapefruit helped with my symptoms but it is also praised as a cancer fighter, an antiseptic, a wonderful detox fruit and a large contributor to weight loss! (stepin2mygreenworld.com).
What’s so great about that? Well, it boosts the immune system, lowers cholesterol, fights bacteria and increases liver function which enables more toxins to be broken down in the body. All in one round, pink grapefruit! The stuff is amazing!
It also lowers triglycerides by as much as 27%, therefore preventing arteries to clog as easily. So it lowers the risk of heart disease! (health.com). Red and pink grapefruit are the best types since they contain more beta carotene and lycopine. Grapefruit also helps control blood sugar. Eating the fruit itself is the best form of consumption but grapefruit juice also helps. And there’s more! Grapefruit can speed up wound healing and energize you. (health.com).
The only negative thing I’ve found is that grapefruit interacts with some medications at a dangerous level. So be sure to ask your doctor or pharmacist if it is safe for you to consume. When they give you a green light, go straight to the store! Grapefruit is definitely a superfood!

Changing Core Beliefs

The first question you may have is, “What is a core belief?” Well, a core belief is something you’ve grown up with. Something you believe defines you as a person or defines the world in which you live. Many times core beliefs aren’t easy to identify. They hide in our subconscious minds and sabotage us when we try to make changes in our lives. Core beliefs are things you learned to believe as truth when you were a child. Core beliefs are set up by the age of six when a person’s personality has formed. Therefore, it is hard to come to terms with them-even to figure out what they are- without doing a lot of introspective work.

Many people dive into the topic of self healing with gusto. They read books, think a lot about what they’ve gone through and meditate. These are all great things to do when you’re looking to make changes. But finding core beliefs is digging into your self talk at a fundamental survival level. It is stripping everything in your life, personality and belief system down to the core to find out what really makes you tick. The things you find at that deep personal level are your core beliefs.

Let me explain. Recently, (a year and a half ago), my youngest child passed away. It was devastating. It threw me into a state of questioning about my very existence. It made me realize that everything I thought I knew was a facade-a man made explanation for how the world worked and what went on behind the scenes spiritually. It also caused me to come to terms with the fact that I had a lot of changing to do. I went on a quest of sorts to examine my life and my theories of living. That quest brought me back to my childhood-to the time when I was in the birth to six stage. Once I began meditating and looking deeply into what made me tick, I began to realize things about myself that I had never paid much attention to:  the core beliefs that directed my behaviors and reactions. That was an eye opening journey!

Never did I realize the impact my core beliefs had on my existence. It seems to be something we overlook because they are so deeply buried under everything we’ve been through. Prejudices we’ve inherited from our families, false beliefs we’ve clung to as truth because of what we’ve been told, observations we’ve made because of who we’ve been surrounded by when we were young-these are the core beliefs I’m talking about. These beliefs have profound impacts on us because they are our built in survival instincts, whether true or false, surrounding how we live and what we do. And much of the time they’re wrong. For instance, I was molested by extended family members from the ages of two to twelve. I thought I had dealt with the issue fully but I realized I had not. I still was internally waging war with a core belief that I was not safe. It is strange how we can gloss over such important issues as easily as wiping a dirty table. We figure as long as we can’t see the dirt the problem is over. That couldn’t be more untrue! If you’re feeling dis-ease about anything in this life, it’s time to do some deep, heavy introspection until you come to the belief system behind it. Because you will find a core belief to blame for every dis-ease you encounter. If you want to be a ninja in the game of life, it is up to you to find the underlying cause for every case of dis-ease you feel. And when you become your life ninja, you will find it. And it will free you! That is why it is so important to dig deep into your subconscious. Every lie you expose will bring you more glorious freedom! And isn’t freedom and peace what you really crave deep down? Along with meaning and purpose?

I think those are the most important attributes that every person strives for. If you identify every false core belief, you will find yourself building more and more prosperous attributes in every aspect of your life. So be a ninja and begin your journey today!

Life Is A Game. Play It Well.

(Late Night Fairy Flight by Diamante Lavendar)

Dimension means a measurable unit of space. This dimension occupies a space-but only a tiny space as compared to the universe.
This dimension demands attention. But usually we give it the wrong attention. This dimension demands that we take heed of its specifications. However, we need to learn that its specifications-in a large way- are brought about by our beliefs.
What we believe comes true-good and bad. We directly affect ourselves and our personal space in this dimension according to what our core beliefs are. That is why we must carefully guard our hearts and minds.
Of course, the constraints and freedoms we experience in our lives here are also spiritually determined. There is a path we have chosen to take that we find ourselves walking day after day. Our beliefs affect that path moment by moment, day by day, year by year. Therefore it is important to believe in good so that we end up in a good place-if not here, after our game here is over.
This is true regardless of what has happened to us. If our lives have been harsh then how much more do we need to believe in good! Earth is a learning ground. We’ve all come here to grow. If we grow tall in light and love despite our circumstances, we are winning the game of this dimension. Because, after all, “life” here IS just a game. But an important game. A game, if played right, of growth and wisdom.
The stronger we are-the more able we are to live according to love and light-the more we evolve. Hardship is the greatest teacher. If you’re experiencing great hardship, you’re learning invaluable lessons that will help you evolve into love, light and truth. Embrace it to the best of your ability.
After all is said and done, when you’re standing in the light of eternity, you will understand that this life has only been a game of learning. So play it well.  You’ll be really glad you did!

The (In)Fidelity Factor by Elda M. Lopez

 

Conflicted about the role of (in)fidelity in relationships?
Hurt? Angry? Confused?
Need simple, sound advice?

The author can relate. She’s been on both sides of the fence and addresses infidelity prevention in real terms. This is a much-needed book for those with a desire to know, and those in the throes of desire re: (in)fidelity in a committed relationship. An honest, easy, concise read that gets to the crux of the matter, with bits of humor thrown in for good measure. It offers up plenty of points to ponder; along with valuable information, statistics, commentary, personal stories (including the author’s own) and surveys for examination.

Guidelines are given to preserve integrity and respect before falling victim to the harmful backlash of infidelity–and it’s a big one. The purpose is to promote awareness, education, personal accountability, and growth. Bottom line: cheating is defeating. Right? This is your call to action, no matter which side of the fence you find yourself. Get healthy, get happy, get reading. This is where the change-up begins!

Interview with Elda:

1.  Why did you decide to write this book?
I decided to write this book because infidelity has gone absolutely wild, and it’s annoying. High profile people are continuously dropping left and right (it was also a point of contention during the recent presidential campaign), so you can imagine what’s happening in our own backyards, and bedrooms. Infidelity is becoming normalized. Why? Why is this acceptable? Prevention is key, so I took to mine and kept typing away.
Having been on both sides of the fence, I know the struggles–not pretty. There is much to be lost when adultery enters a committed relationship: emotionally, financially, psychologically; not to mention the possible extended mayhem: arson, dismemberment, murder–all real! This behavior affects everyone involved. Because infidelity is such a highly emotionally charged topic, most people don’t realize there are various backstories; nor the scope of the fallout. I wanted to address infidelity prevention in a manner that would be easy to comprehend and hopefully, make a difference.
2.  What do you hope to accomplish through this book’s publication?
My hope is that someone, anyone, will have at least one positive takeaway that can be applied to their life. Better overall understanding, eye-opening moments, and paying the good forward are also welcomed. I emphasize self-awareness, personal accountability, and growth. These aren’t easy subjects for people to acknowledge, but they are essential components for infidelity prevention.

When my ex-husband cheated on me, I chose to take a look at myself as well. His actions were definitely of his own doing, but I had contributed to our disconnect on some level. It’s difficult for people to look at themselves, much less when they’ve been betrayed. I get that. However, I didn’t want to take unproductive patterns with me into a future relationship. And, I certainly wasn’t going to play the victim card. I wanted to get healthy. That’s what I wish for others, on a very large scale. My goal is not to eradicate infidelity, my mission is to bring awareness and do some educating while I’m at it. I’d like to switch up legislature too. I have a very long to-do list!
3.  Do you have any other published work?
So far, this is my only book. At some point, I’d like to do a broader version (are you listening lit. agents?). I’ve learned a tremendous amount during this whole process. I consider myself to be nonjudgmental, but I’ve had to continuously push back my boundaries to accommodate someone’s else’s reality with infidelity. It’s a huge subject with many tangents. There’s still tons of work to do. This particular plate is always full: I’ve been known to have a hearty appetite.
4.  What is one surprising fact you’d like your readers to know about you?
Surprising fact about me? A million years ago in college, I studied abroad at the University of Copenhagen, Denmark: one of the best experiences of my life. It’s a lovely country. I lived with a Danish family with whom I’m still in contact. We’ve also exchanged visits. They truly are an extension of my immediate family. Also, I flunked out of two classes due to my love of travel. Hey, life experience is just as important as book experience. Luckily, I had enough credits so that it didn’t make a difference. Besides, what I gained was absolutely priceless.
5.  If you could fulfill one wish in life, what would it be?
One wish: That all my wishes will be fulfilled. I’m getting closer!
Where you can find Elda:
http://www.eldamlopez.com/
http://mybook.to/facebookeml
http://amazon.com/author/eldamlopez.com
https://twitter.com/eldamlopez
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmvDF58NIik

 

Now Determines The Future

 

Now determines the future. Now is the “seat” of tomorrow. Don’t project what happened yesterday into tomorrow. You’ll create more of the same in “what is to come”.

If you want to start fresh, make Now the best you can and see that best going forward into tomorrow. That is the most productive way to correct past mistakes, one moment at a time. And if you slip up or get off track, don’t worry or fear. Just realign yourself in a successful Now and the future will be much brighter and better.

Remember: life is a journey and we are all works in progress!

Now Is All We Have

I AM the Method,
I AM the Key,
I AM the Answer,
Please reference Me.

I AM the Creator,
I AM the King,
I am the Light,
In whom creation sings.

When you’re in doubt,
You know you will fall;
Cry out to Me,
The Intention of all.

I AM your Redeemer,
Of first and of last,
I AM the Gatekeeper,
Of all time that does pass.

It Wasn’t Her

I saw her in the casket, lying peacefully, wearing the animal print dress she had wanted so badly four years before. We had walked around the store and she followed me, crying, wailing uncharacteristically, for me to buy her the dress.

“Why are you acting like this?” I was irritated. I was so irritated, in fact, that I felt like flinging her across the aisles.

“I want this dress!” she wailed.

“You never act this way. You’re a good kid. Calm. Peaceful. The total opposite of your sister. But now? You’re acting like a monster! I already have $400.00 worth of clothes in this cart for you both. I can’t afford any more. These prices are outrageous! This is why I buy everything at Goodwill!” I stared at her, beyond frustrated.

She insisted on getting the dress. Of course, I caved.

My younger daughter was the peaceful one of my two kids. She was the easygoing one. The one who gave loving advice and huge bear hugs. The one who told everyone that everything would be okay.

Now I was staring at her lifeless body, her cold, hard shell lying in a casket lined with pink satin fabric-her favorite color. The body of my beloved child adorned with the animal print dress she had pined over in the store four years ago.

*****************************************************************************

We were standing in my younger daughter’s room a few days before.   My older daughter held the animal print dress.  “We have to put it on her, mom,” my older daughter insisted through tears and whimpering. “You know how much she loved it.  It’s what she would have wanted.”

“I know.  Do you remember how she freaked out about that dress when I bought it?” I wiped my eyes, wanting to join my younger daughter in her casket.

“Yes.”

We both broke down. It was inconceivable that she had been yanked from us. Our best friend, our confidant, our love.

We carefully picked out jewelry to match.

“She’ll be beautiful,” my older daughter said. “Just like she’d want to be.”

********************************************************************************

How will I live without you, Bubby Girl?  I can’t do this.

I went to her, kneeling in front of the casket. I put my hands over hers, placing one of my best rings on her fingers.

You were with me when I picked this out.  My promise ring to God.  Now it’s yours.

I stared at her face.  That beautiful, angelic face with the pouting lower lip.  Her hair had recently been dyed red.  It looked good on her, falling in soft curls around her cheeks and over her shoulders.

I want to be with you.  

I had been through this before.  I knew all about God and spirits, angels and heaven.  I just didn’t want to acknowledge the pain.  It was then that I heard her voice.

“I’m not in that casket mom.  I’m still with you.”

I felt the familiar salty tears fall from my eyes, down my cheeks and into my mouth as I wept.

I know.  I just miss you.  So much.  Every second of every day.

I stared at her, laying my head on the chest of her icy cold body.  I smelled formaldehyde.

“That’s not me anymore, mom.  Remember.  Now I can always be with you.”

In immense pain, I ran my fingers through her hair, hating the smell and the coldness of her body.

You’re right.  It’s not you anymore.  But I still love you and I always will.  You’ll always be my baby.

I stayed with her a while more as the funeral director closed the doors to the people watching behind me.

I love you, Bubby Girl.  Stay with me forever.  Help me to keep writing and show me how to take pictures like you did.

“I will, Mommy.  I promise.”

Never stop calling me Mommy.  I love how you call me that.

“I won’t, Mommy.  Try to be happy.  Because I’m happy now.”

I ran my hands over her fingers, those beautiful curved fingers that I used to hold in mine.  I got up and told the funeral director he could shut the casket.  As he did, I knew that my time with my baby wasn’t over.  It was just beginning.

 

 

The Worst Thanksgiving Ever by Kara Reynolds

People have strong, emotion-filled memories associated with the holidays, especially with the food we eat at those special times. It’s why I make sweet potato casserole every Thanksgiving—it’s my mom’s recipe, and making it reminds me of her. Every time I add a full cup of sugar instead of three-quarters of a cup I laugh inwardly as I imagine her cringing at how much delicious sugar goes into the dish. I am sure (I hope, anyway) that you have similar fond memories of holiday food.

For the first Thanksgiving that my husband and I spent together (before we got married), we went to visit my family on the East Coast. For weeks leading up to our trip, I regaled him with stories of my family and different holidays we’d spent together. I think my nostalgia started to make him miss his own family, because a few days before we left he suggested we eat dinner at a Country Buffet, like his family used to do when he was a kid. As buffets go, it wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t good either. I couldn’t wait to get home and eat my grandma’s food.
Later that night, my husband starting having stomach cramps. He spent the night on the couch in my living room. When I came back upstairs in the morning to check on him, he was in the bathroom. He had full-blown food poisoning, and it was kicking his butt. I helped clean up the mess (from both ends, people. It was BAD).
He recovered enough by the time we had to fly out, so we went on our trip. My dad’s family picked us up in Baltimore and took us to my aunt’s house in Pennsylvania. By the time we got there, my stomach was starting to gurgle…
I spent the next two days on the toilet at my aunt’s house, while my sister laughed her head off at me every time she walked down the hall and heard me spewing into the commode. My poor husband spent those days making small talk with my family, who he’d just met, and force-feeding me Gatorade.
It was a terrible trip, but I have fond memories of it because that was the week I realized I wanted to marry my husband. Because I could clean up his bodily fluids (and he mine) without being repulsed, it was clear to me that we truly cared about each other.
We’ve had nine Thanksgivings since then, and every time we sit down to eat we share a grin and remind each other how thankful we are that we can actually eat the meal that year—and that we’re thankful that we’re eating it together.

**********

Kara Reynolds is a stay-at-home mom of three who likes to spend her nearly-non-existent free time writing novels. Her weaknesses include James T. Kirk, lightsabers, and anything TARDIS-blue. She writes contemporary and light speculative YA novels. She is clearly a gigantic nerd, and if she could go back in time, she would tell her teenage self to embrace her inner geekiness. While Kara lives in Wyoming, she is not of Wyoming. But it’s growing on her.

Kara blogs about writing every week at Operation Awesome (http://operationawesome6.blogspot.com). You can follow her on Twitter @reynoldstribe.

Donate this year to the Edmonton Food Bank:

https://www.canadahelps.org/en/pages/giftmas-blog-tour-supports-the-edmonton-food-bank/