Tag Archives: Don’t Take It Personally by Diamante Lavendar

Don’t Take It Personally

 

 

Everybody has good days and bad days. Sometimes we have bad months or years. It is at these times that we need to remember not to take hardship personally.

We’d all love to believe that life will be good for the most part. Many times we don’t want to admit that life can be horrible and that difficulty can plague us for long periods of time. But I believe it is better to realize and admit that life can be harsh. Why? Because being realistic helps us to handle pain better. If we continue to look at life through rose colored glasses, hardships can shatter us to the core. When we see life in realistic circumstances we no longer need to pretend that everything should be perfect. We realize perfection is an unattainable and frustrating goal.

No matter who we are or what we do, there will always be people who don’t empathize. And there will eventually be unforeseen circumstances that will come to call. A healthy attitude accepts those truths. When we learn not to take life personally, we will be much more balanced mentally, spiritually and physically.

For example, those of you who know my story know that I have lost several children. After my first child passed away, I felt I had been betrayed by spirit. I was angry and hurt. Bitterness grew inside me like bushes of thorns. I couldn’t believe spirit would do something so heinous. I wrestled with guilt, pain and remorse for years upon years. Eventually I came to a place of acceptance. Though it was hard, I realized that there are no laws in life which prevent pain and anguish from striking. And striking hard. In fact, I came to understand that disasters happen. I found my way through only to lose another child twenty years later. When my second child passed, I wanted to give up. I thought I had failed in some way. But I came to understand that life was never promised to be perfect. In fact, the only promise we have in life is that we are born, we live to the best of our abilities in the days were are given and then we leave. I don’t believe in death. I believe what we call death is simply a transformation similar to a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis. I learned not to take it personally.

Maturation means growing up. Not only physically, but mentally and spiritually as well. Through the turmoil I’ve dealt with during my lifetime, I’ve come to the conclusion that we are here to learn lessons and to improve our responses to those lessons, however harsh they may be. I consider our time on planet earth as a classroom. The bigger the lesson, the more blessed the experience will make things for us beyond our time here. We aren’t here to have fun, laugh and party 24/7. Sometimes, yes. Other times, no. We are here to learn more important things such as patience, love, redemption, forgiveness and compassion. If we are able to transform our scars into art forms upon our souls, we have succeeded in our time here. We have succeeded in learning depth, character and making beauty from the ashes that plague us.

If you are hurting or you know someone who is, inspire them to find hope and truth in the midst of their trauma. With compassion and understanding, they will arise from the ashes of their situation stronger, wiser and knowing not to take hardship personally.