Tag Archives: grief

A Beautiful Review For Finding Hope In The Darkness Of Grief, My Most Recently Published Book!

Finding Hope in the Darkness of Grief gathers Diamante Lavendar’s own insights on how she charted a path through grief, and pairs free verse poems that double as uplifting admonitions (“There is so much more/To every instance/Than we can comprehend.”) with prose and the author’s lovely color art images.

From illusions of darkness and separation to the realities of harboring false beliefs and following the road to healing, Lavendar’s verse and insights follow the process of not only recovery; but finding the kind of empathy and understanding from the healing process that strengthens other connections in life.

The juxtaposition of nature-oriented images and art with these admonitions lends a visual touch to the written word that enhances both with a structure and reinforcement that either alone could not have achieved.

Those who will benefit most from Lavendar’s approach are readers who are seeking their own paths to healing and greater enlightenment, who can accept her candid assessments of what the process of grieving leads to (“Death is not an ending but a beginning to a different reality, not only/for the bereaved but also for those who have passed into eternity.”).

This audience will relish the message of Lavendar’s art and words and will discover not just a quiet comfort offered within the pages of Finding Hope in the Darkness of Grief, but a broader message that holds clues to finding strength from weakness and ultimately transforming grief into a growth experience.

Readers interested in finding opportunities from the great of adversities will keep Finding Hope in the Darkness of Grief close at hand for reflection, inspiration, and ultimately transformation. -Diane Donovan, Donovan’s Literary Services, Editor Midwest Book Review.

To purchase a copy, please visit:

Make Lemonade

Learning how to make lemonade from life’s lemons is a test. It is hard, it takes grit and determination. It is not for the faint hearted.
When I think of the tragedies people have experienced while on this earth it hurts and it humbles me. I myself have suffered deeply. So I can empathize with the pain that others experience.
I have come to believe that the strongest warriors are those that are able to make sweet lemonade from the hardships of life. Through death, divorce, illness, mental pain, and other agonies, the people who rise up and stand tall and true are the heroes of life.
I call them the peaceful warriors. Those able to cry freely in the face of angst and oppression. My hat is off to all of you. You are a mentor to me. I pray I may also be a mentor to others as I suffer the travails of having been abused, buried several children and dealt with other hardships.
Life can be agony. But at the end of the day when we are reunited with our loved ones in heaven, we will finally be at peace.
Namaste. Ride the winds of life with mercy, grace and understanding. You will be rewarded in the end.

Missing You

 

The truth of your love you left behind,
A treasure, a gift that you hoped I’d soon find;
You helped me to learn and wished that I’d grow,
I never imagined I’d be missing you so;
Life seemed so harsh many years ago,
Now darker than I ever wanted to know;
I’m not sure how to handle this agony and pain,
As I look at your pictures again and again;
A mother’s love is not taken for granted,
For children she prayed for and desperately wanted;
I’m not sure how I can go on living,
But I know you’d tell me to keep on trying.
I think of heaven and I hear your voice,
In my heart and my head where you left a deep void;
I wonder if maybe I’m losing my mind,
Because I’m wishing so hard you hadn’t left me behind;
Celby, Jazzy, my beautiful girls,
My love, my passion, my yearning, my world;
Please tell me you’re still here, right beside me,
And ask God to wrap me in his presence and hide me;
I beg Him some day to heal these misgivings,
So I know I can live in a state of forgiveness.

I am lost without you.  Love Mommy.

Waiting

You are my love;
My heart knew you
Before you were born.

Together in another realm we laughed,
Made plans and shared kisses
As we flew through the endless skies.

My soulmate, my child;
A love so pure and
An innocence undefiled.

Your laugh is a promise
Of truth, beauty,
And a profound future.

To be apart from you
Is like death-but death does not exist;
It is merely a lie of a three dimensional world.

Truth prevails and glory remains;
Waiting for me in a realm
That some refuse to believe.

However, I believe. I know.
For I feel angel kisses on my skin,
And I hear the whisper of your voice in the heavens;

Wanting to collect me like a flower,
And bring me home in your embrace;
To my place of refuge where you wait patiently for me.

Celby

The pain is so deep-
Every time I have a memory,
Every time I hear a song you loved,
Every perfect picture waiting to be taken,
Causes bitter tears of grief to awaken
My broken heart again.

Everywhere I go-
Everyone I meet, people who I talk to,
Remind me of you and your beauty;
I miss your caring heart, your giving aura of love;
You were so much more than the average person
Could have ever hoped to be.

My soulmate-
We dreamed together, had grand plans,
We laughed about silly things,
Fought about even sillier things,
Then hugged and reconciled,
Knowing our love was one quite rare.

My daughter, my baby-
My best friend;
I raised you to be loving, understanding,
A light in the darkness.
How could God snuff out
Someone so incredibly beautiful at such a tender age?

How could He allow it-
When your presence changed lives
And your perspective made everything better?
Your glow could be felt by everyone who knew you;
You made things make sense, you brought life into situations;
You were a constant help to those in need.

I miss you, Celby. I always will-
Until God has me take my last breath on this earth,
Nothing will ever be the same again.
The beauty you left behind is agonizing,
The purpose you gave us torturous
Because you were ripped from us without even so much

As an explanation.

Better Days Will Come

This blog is being written as a tribute to a family member that just suddenly passed away.   He was the victim of a deadly addiction that ended up taking his life.  It is hard to accept the death of a loved one, especially when it seems premature.  The questions of why run through our minds.  But when it comes down to fate, our days are numbered.  Life is fleeting.  We must enjoy it as much as possible while we are here.

Cropped Addictions

We all have days of sadness and unrest. Days that we wish would never happen. Days of a death in the family or a sudden accident. Unfortunately, these days will come whether we want them to or not. It is just the way of the world.

Fortunately, these days don’t last forever. Sometimes their effects do and it takes us months or even years to work through the lasting impressions they have on us.

It is important to remember that it will pass. Sadness and suffering won’t continue without end. Sometimes it’s hard to remember this when we are in the midst of turmoil and agony. But every cloud does eventually have a silver lining.

We must attempt to keep a positive attitude as much as possible during these excruciating moments. For most times these moments shape us into better people if we allow them to.

Life doesn’t always make sense but if we keep the proper perspective, we will come out victorious.  Joy always comes like a sunrise on the horizon and hope always resurfaces to anchor our souls.