Tag Archives: pain of abuse

Crying For A Savior

The pain you caused
Has left permanent scars
Like armies of demons
In my brain.

I am stilled by agony
In unguarded moments
Like razor blade cuts
Across my heart.

It’s been years
But somehow
Your deathly grip
Still holds me fast;

I crawl
Like a wounded animal
Through the dust and debris
Of the past

Crying for a Savior.

How is it
That after thirty seven years
You still reach me
From the coldness of your grave?

Groping and grasping,
Ripping my flesh off in layers,
Stabbing your evil
Through my heart and soul?

Will I ever be free
To live as I dream of living
Or will I forever be
Your prisoner of anguish and shame?

I deserve to be happy
I dream of it every day
But somehow your memory
Always succeeds

At burying me with you in a Hell you so adeptly created for both of us.

 

My drawing entitled Shadows

Shadows for Fine Art America

This is an older piece I created many years ago when I was having trouble with flashbacks stemming from my abuse. One day I sat down and began to create this piece as I was suffering.

It’s meaning: Memories are like shadows in our minds. The good memories remind us. The bad memories haunt us. Our lives are filled with many different memories. They shape who we are. How we allow them to affect us is our own decision.

I wrote a book about my life entitled Breaking The Silence. It is a story of my torment and agony but also a story of my hope and healing. Sexual and psychological abuse is extremely difficult to deal with. The emotions that it creates threaten to destroy the victim’s life. Breaking The Silence is my story about how I went from victim to over comer. It is my hope that everyone who has suffered as I have will find the courage to recover after reading my story.

Shadows is my physical depiction of a small piece of that torment and hidden hope.  If you know someone who has suffered from abuse, show them this piece.  They will probably be able to identify deeply with it.

Where you can find Shadows:

http://www.redbubble.com/people/diamantelavenda/works/14126123-shadows-by-diamante-lavendar?grid_pos=1&p=sticker

http://fineartamerica.com/featured/shadows-diamante-lavendar.html

Products made with Shadows:

Shadows laptop skin RBShadows clutch RB

Shadows drawstring clutch RBShadows notebook RB