Do What You Can And Accept What You Must

My work titled Facing Fear.

In these uncertain times it is easy to fall into a fearful mindset. Especially if you have previously experienced a lot of turmoil in life. But fear won’t cancel out negativity. It will only amplify it. The best way to deal with uncertain and fearful situations is to do what you can to offset the problem and accept the things you must accept-the things you cannot change.

Just like the serenity prayer states: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” That pretty much sums up life issues in a nutshell. We can only do what we can do. When things are out of our control, we must have wisdom, faith and courage to be able to hang tough in our fights. It is a wish that we as humans have not to have to deal with hardship, stress and suffering. Unfortunately, those are plights of the human condition.

Life is like a video game. Or a maze. We sometimes bumble our way through rough patches with anguish and hope that they will go away. And inadvertently they do end up going away. Nothing lasts forever, except the love of God and the peace of heaven. Anything in between is a toss up.

When you are falling prey to fear, find something that you can do to make yourself feel better, even if only for a short while. A hobby, cleaning, a walk, a prayer, anything that lifts your spirits. And know in your heart that this too shall pass. Everything eventually does. Faith is a critical aspect in succeeding at the game of life. Without it you easily sink and want to give up. Keep your faith and keep your hope. Focus on something or someone you love. Redirect your mind to things you have some control over. Make positive changes whenever possible.

If you give up your hope, you’ve lost the fight. Hope is an anchor for the soul. Keep it, and keep your chin up. If you do, you’ll be able to roll with the punches and come out victorious.

Don't Take It Personally

Everybody has good days and bad days. Sometimes we have bad months or years. It is at these times that we need to remember not to take hardship personally.

We'd all love to believe that life will be good for the most part. Many times we don't want to admit that life can be horrible and that difficulty can plague us for long periods of time. But I believe it is better to realize and admit that life can be harsh. Why? Because being realistic helps us to handle pain better. If we continue to look at life through rose colored glasses, hardships can shatter us to the core. When we see life in realistic circumstances we no longer need to pretend that everything should be perfect. We realize perfection is an unattainable and frustrating goal.

No matter who we are or what we do, there will always be people who don't empathize. And there will eventually be unforeseen circumstances that will come to call. A healthy attitude accepts those truths. When we learn not to take life personally, we will be much more balanced mentally, spiritually and physically.

For example, those of you who know my story know that I have lost several children. After my first child passed away, I felt I had been betrayed by spirit. I was angry and hurt. Bitterness grew inside me like bushes of thorns. I couldn't believe spirit would do something so heinous. I wrestled with guilt, pain and remorse for years upon years. Eventually I came to a place of acceptance. Though it was hard, I realized that there are no laws in life which prevent pain and anguish from striking. And striking hard. In fact, I came to understand that disasters happen. I found my way through only to lose another child twenty years later. When my second child passed, I wanted to give up. I thought I had failed in some way. But I came to understand that life was never promised to be perfect. In fact, the only promise we have in life is that we are born, we live to the best of our abilities in the days were are given and then we leave. I don't believe in death. I believe what we call death is simply a transformation similar to a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis. I learned not to take it personally.

Maturation means growing up. Not only physically, but mentally and spiritually as well. Through the turmoil I've dealt with during my lifetime, I've come to the conclusion that we are here to learn lessons and to improve our responses to those lessons, however harsh they may be. I consider our time on planet earth as a classroom. The bigger the lesson, the more blessed the experience will make things for us beyond our time here. We aren't here to have fun, laugh and party 24/7. Sometimes, yes. Other times, no. We are here to learn more important things such as patience, love, redemption, forgiveness and compassion. If we are able to transform our scars into art forms upon our souls, we have succeeded in our time here. We have succeeded in learning depth, character and making beauty from the ashes that plague us.

If you are hurting or you know someone who is, inspire them to find hope and truth in the midst of their trauma. With compassion and understanding, they will arise from the ashes of their situation stronger, wiser and knowing not to take hardship personally.