Every Experience Is A Treasure That Can't Be Bought

Experience is the greatest teacher. It is true. Experience is invaluable, important, and exceptional in making us better if we choose to allow it to.

Even hard things teach good lessons. In fact, hardship is one of the best teachers because it ingrains understanding, wisdom, compassion, and grace in us. When hardship comes, if we remember that we can learn from it and grow from going through it, we can see it as valuable. We can change our perspective towards it through envisioning it in a different way.

Money can’t buy experience. It can’t buy love or compassion or mercy. Money is valued highly in our society, and yes, it is important in meeting physical needs. But experience is just as important in meeting needs that money can’t buy.

Try to see your experiences as treasures. When going through a tough time, remind yourself that even your current experience will eventually lead you to a better place if you are able to reframe your attitude and belief about it. Focus on elevation-rising above the turmoil and insecurities you are facing in order to see good possibilities coming from your experience. Sometimes it’s tough to do, but well worth the effort. You will be thankful later if you are able to train yourself to stay positive now. Especially if what you are going through is really tough.

Surround yourself with others of a like mindset. Lift and build each other up. Then you will come to know a new freedom and wisdom from the inside out. That wisdom will bring you closer to overcoming your fears and succeeding at accomplishing your dreams!

2020

This year has certainly been something out of the ordinary-something nobody could have predicted. I think it can suffice to say that this year has been ‘otherwordly’. Before the pandemic hit, I created a piece of art that fit very well with the onslaught of 2020.

Growing Through Adversity, available here.

The description of this work was written as follows: Hardship in life is inevitable. We will all experience it from one degree to another. Hardship redefines us and makes us grow. Much of it we have no control over. But it can make us stronger and wealthy with wisdom if we choose to have the right perspective about it.

Now that I look back at this work, I find it almost haunting that I uploaded it on my art site on April 24, 2020, with the pandemic hitting only weeks afterward. It is true that hardship really causes us to grow. I find it almost amazing how much. It seems that the deeper the pain and the valley that is forged within, the deeper the insight and understanding we gain. A difficult part of being human.

Then on May 3, before the pandemic became critical, I uploaded a piece as a response to the beginning of the craziness that was befalling us. The work was titled A New World Order. And how strange it has been to see the civil unrest and disunity that this pandemic has caused or brought out among people. I truly believe that unity is the answer to fighting this pandemic and to rising up as accomplished, caring citizens of this country.

A New World Order available here.

The description of this work is written as:

Current events have changed our world;
Hardship and heartache have brought much concern.
A world divided against itself will surely fall,
Unity is the answer to destiny's call.

How true that became after the pandemic had caused economic issues and social unrest. I pray for a better future- a world of unity, cooperation, and understanding rather than division and anger as we have seen run much too prevalent in current times. Everything that has happened has reminded me of Martin Luther King Jr’s statement: "Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that." His words still ring true to this day! I pray we can rise up and adopt that stance in our current societal condition!

How To Live More Peacefully In Difficult Times

The times we are currently living in are very difficult times. This is a time of questioning and reasoning, trying to figure out why things are the way they are, wondering if they will end soon, feeling anxious and depressed, and worrying about our families and loved ones. During times like these we need a sense of stability and purpose. This blog post will focus on some of the ways I have found to persevere during trauma and hardship.

One important way to live more peacefully is to reduce your anxiety level. The best way to do this is to decide what your biggest fears and anxieties are and address them to the best of your ability. Take steps to alleviate some of your worries. Even small steps will help you feel more in control of your situation. For example, if you are dealing with financial pressures, try clipping coupons, getting rid of contract add-ons and asking for deferred payments. Brainstorm about anything that will lessen your stress load.

Another way to live more peacefully is to focus on things that you can do rather than on the things that are stressing you out. Focus on positive things such as working out more, starting a new hobby, or helping someone else that is going through a rough time. When you focus on what you can do rather than on what you can’t, your anxiety will decrease.

Have faith in a higher power. When you believe that there is a higher power who works things for your good it is much easier to flow through difficulty. Believe that every hardship has a silver lining. And look for those silver linings in your life. The power of positivity is an amazing predecessor of good!

The Healing Power Of Love available here.

Stay as positive as you can! Talk to other positive people. Donate to positive causes. Be the change that you want to see in the world. When you start taking action for good, good will come to you. A great example of this is the many people who began making masks for healthcare workers when the pandemic hit. What a great way to give love and light to the world-it can be anything as long as it’s positive!

Lastly, try to be a solution to some of the problems you see around you. Use your gifts and abilities to bring hope into the lives of others who are hurting. Not only does it give them hope but it also will give you hope and a sense of purpose. When you are engaged in making the world a better place, your anxieties will fade and your sense of worth and personal meaning will grow immensely. You will develop a sense of community and will bring much-needed compassion and empathy into other people’s lives.

It is my hope that this blog will encourage you and lift you up. The world needs so much love right now! Be a light to others and you will light your own heart as well in the process!

Surviving Turbulent Times

The days in which we are living are uncertain. Sickness, social unrest and economic disruptions are hitting hard and close to home. Life can be grueling. During hardship and difficulty, it is easy to become overwhelmed. But losing hope and wanting to quit only make things worse. How is it possible to continue on with a good attitude? By trusting God.

I have had to learn to trust during extreme pain and turmoil. Several of my children have gone before me to inherit the kingdom of Heaven. I have also undergone much pain from abuse. But I have learned that I can’t look back. I can’t dwell on the valleys and shadows that have cropped up in my life. It hasn’t been easy and I still find myself feeling the pain, especially when more pressure and difficulties have erupted around me. Such as the times in which we are currently living.

I have found that hope springs eternal. It is in the deepest wells of our hearts that we will find spiritual empathy and compassion-a tiny glimmer of hope that grows within as we focus on things of eternal perspective. Things such as mercy, grace, love, and growing from our pain into better and more accomplished people. This is only possible with our Father-our eternal comfort and provider of love and light.

Conflict Summons Change available here.

It has taken me a long time to come to this state of acceptance. But it is a welcomed change from the bitterness and anger that has ravaged my soul in the past. It is easy to become angry when we are attacked and when we lose things that we love and hold very near and dear to our hearts. It is difficult to foster a sense of acceptance in times of great angst. But that which is of value is that which takes time and resolve to bring forth.

Knowing we haven’t lost is critical when we look at the bigger picture and see that God provides our comfort and saves our loved ones so that we can unite once again beyond Heaven’s gates. It is more of a sense of being than a state of living. It is a perception and awakening of hope and possibilities of good to come. It is true that united we stand-not just together with others around us but also within our hearts and being. A house divided against itself cannot stand. And when we see and feel so much pain and bitterness, we become divided against ourselves, our inner essence and truth.

We were created to be love and light, not pain and darkness. We were created to know truth and to walk our destined paths. We cannot do this when we are consumed in bitterness and depression. I encourage you to journey within-to find that tiny place deep inside your heart that whispers, “It will be okay.” And grasp hold of that voice or feeling. Feed it love and respect. Water it with hope and prayer. You can find the strength to continue and the courage to hold on. You are a gift and you’ve been given a gift, a destined truth that only you can fulfill. Find it, believe in it and reach for it. Have faith that it will happen. As you do these things, you will be led to a more peaceful and promising future-your destined reason and purpose, your goal to achieve. Then you will be able to hang tough when the valleys come. Fight the good fight of faith with prosperity and intention. Choose to live with grace and purpose!

Do What You Can And Accept What You Must

My work titled Facing Fear.

In these uncertain times it is easy to fall into a fearful mindset. Especially if you have previously experienced a lot of turmoil in life. But fear won’t cancel out negativity. It will only amplify it. The best way to deal with uncertain and fearful situations is to do what you can to offset the problem and accept the things you must accept-the things you cannot change.

Just like the serenity prayer states: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” That pretty much sums up life issues in a nutshell. We can only do what we can do. When things are out of our control, we must have wisdom, faith and courage to be able to hang tough in our fights. It is a wish that we as humans have not to have to deal with hardship, stress and suffering. Unfortunately, those are plights of the human condition.

Life is like a video game. Or a maze. We sometimes bumble our way through rough patches with anguish and hope that they will go away. And inadvertently they do end up going away. Nothing lasts forever, except the love of God and the peace of heaven. Anything in between is a toss up.

When you are falling prey to fear, find something that you can do to make yourself feel better, even if only for a short while. A hobby, cleaning, a walk, a prayer, anything that lifts your spirits. And know in your heart that this too shall pass. Everything eventually does. Faith is a critical aspect in succeeding at the game of life. Without it you easily sink and want to give up. Keep your faith and keep your hope. Focus on something or someone you love. Redirect your mind to things you have some control over. Make positive changes whenever possible.

If you give up your hope, you’ve lost the fight. Hope is an anchor for the soul. Keep it, and keep your chin up. If you do, you’ll be able to roll with the punches and come out victorious.

The Importance Of Light

Not only is natural light important for our bodies, but so is spiritual light-the inspiration we receive from spiritual practice.

In our crazy world with its ups and downs, we need a calming influence. A reminder that we can find refuge amidst the chaos and calamity of the societies in which we live. Inspiration means different things to different people. But the basis is the same for everyone. And that basis is peace, hope and meaning within our day to day timelines. No matter where we come from, those are the things we crave. And people receive that guidance or uplifting presence from their religion, beliefs and activities.

For me, a Christian perspective has helped me navigate through a lot of pain and turmoil. And stemming from that perspective is my daily act of writing and artistry. When I am overwhelmed or stressed out, I sit down at my computer and begin to create. I also do it when I’m relaxed. But I find that artistry lends a presence of Spirit and hope to my day.

Whether it’s cooking, exercising, meeting new people or taking a trip to someplace new, everyone has an outlet in which they find hope and meaning. And recently I’ve been focusing even more on spiritual art and poetry. I’m trying new things, expanding my horizons.

The piece you see below is entitled Let Your Light Shine. It’s a mixed media work in which I share my belief that everyone has something important to offer-a destiny to fulfill. I hope that this work will persuade you to shine your light. The world is in need of love and encouragement. When you decide to let your light shine, I know you’ll be so glad that you did!

Let Your Light Shine available here.

The Value Of Hardship

Nobody likes hardship or difficulty. But hardship has a purpose. It is a great teacher!

When I look back at my life, I see that the most agonizing times taught me the most. I didn’t enjoy them and sometimes they still bring me pain when I remember. But I can truly say that I learned the most about myself and life by hanging in there and getting through it. It’s really amazing how God can take pain and turn it into beauty. With God, all things truly are possible. And He has a way of knowing just what will turn us in the right direction. The wonderful thing is that we aren’t in it alone. He is always with us. And if we trust Him, He will make beauty from ashes, strength from fear, joy from mourning and peace from despair.

Whenever I am at the end of my rope, I let go and let God. And somehow things always work out. Most of the time for the better if I am patient and I persevere. Answers don’t always come quickly. But they do eventually come.

If you’re having a rough day or week or even year, know that you aren’t alone. Lean on your Father because He loves you so much! Trust, believe and wait for the glory to appear! The sun always comes back out after the rain. All you have to do is keep the faith!

It's Never Too Late!

It’s a misconception that is all too common. People think it’s hard to change. They think they’re too old, too set in their ways, too this and too that. But the truth is, change really isn’t that difficult. What it takes is a change of perception and a new mindset. If you can change your mind then you can change your life.

It is true that change can be challenging. But anything worthwhile is. Sometimes you have to change who you associate with, where you go and what you view as important. The moment you accept the fact that you need to change is the moment that your life begins to turn around. Acceptance and understanding are the crucial factors needed to change your life.

Nobody is perfect. Be patient with yourself. You deserve good things in your life and you also deserve to be happy. No matter how far off base you think you are, each moment is a possibility of a new start. And many times people don’t succeed on the first, second, third or even fiftieth time. The greatest way to change is to keep on trying, even in the face of failure. Failure is actually a fertile learning ground. Each time you fail, you learn what you shouldn’t do. And some of us (me included) have to go through a lot of situations before we become determined.

I learned to view failure as learning. I don’t look at it as the end of everything. I think to myself, “Ok. That obviously didn’t work so I’ll try something else.” That is literally the mindset you need to persevere until you succeed. No matter your age, background or family you grew up in, change is possible. So get back up, brush the dust off and keep on going. You can do it!

The Importance Of Letting Go

We all want to grow and become something meaningful in life. As children we experience all different types of things to introduce us to the ways of the world and the personal strengths we have to contribute. We grow up learning about everything, including what we are good at and the value our talents have on the world around us.

Life isn’t a cake walk. It will always come with issues of one type or another. The challenge is to overcome the issues we face in order to grow, learn and evolve into our destined purpose. One very important objective regarding living a destined life is the importance of letting go of the past and the hardships that we have been dealt.

It is impossible to make strides toward destiny while holding onto the past too closely. We must be willing to shut the doors on the pain and the difficulty in order to make room for the new and beautiful things God has in store for us. We can only hold onto so much. If we are unwilling to let go, we won’t have the mentality or emotional stability to move forward.

It is all about balance. Weighing the good against the bad, learning the lessons from our youth and our experiences. We build on those things in our present state which gives us hope for the future. The term, “rising like a phoenix from the ashes” holds so true to growing into our destined purpose. The lessons we learn are critical to our success at the end of our life’s journey.

This piece of art, entitled What Was, is my depiction of this process. It speaks of accepting what was in order to build bridges into what will be. Experience is the greatest teacher. And Spirit is the greatest guide!

Grace

Since I was a young child I’ve loved the number 5. I remember counting by fives over and over again. I enjoyed the rhythmic sounds of multiples of 5. I didn’t know what the number 5 represented. I only knew that for some reason I loved the number.

Years later I found out that 5 is the number symbolizing God’s grace. I was comforted because I loved the number so but I also found it quite strange. The reason I found it strange? The life I’ve lived and the hardships I’ve endured required that grace would hold me up and strengthen me. I know that it was God’s grace that brought me through-and still is.

In spirit, coincidence doesn’t exist. Only destiny does. We are predestined to come and live on this planet. Everything happens for a reason: good and bad. It took over half my life for me to admit that even the worst things I’ve endured have happened for a reason. I believe we are here to learn and grow. To experience and understand. To gain wisdom about what love truly means and to prosper despite adversity. We are all born from the same beautiful spirit. But we have free will to decide whether we will stay in our predestined union with God or if we will turn away.

It’s easy to turn away and run. To become angry and hurt. The things of this world bring such pain that we have a knee jerk reaction to flee. But I have learned that because of God’s wonderful grace we can stand in the storm, accept the harshest reality and prosper anyway. It takes resilience and trust which are a test to gain in themselves. It isn’t easy. But if we are able to learn to reside in that grace, we will find peace. Not temporary peace but the peace of spirit. The peace that holds us together and calms us even when our lives have literally turned upside down.

Back in my twenties, after burying my first child, I was emotionally, physically and spiritually bankrupt. I had endured over a decade of molestation by extended family members. Then I buried my first child. I was an atheist. My family had taught me that we had descended from apes- the classic theory of evolution. After what had happened to me I had no hope. I had no reason. Then the day of my first daughter’s funeral came. And she visited me. I sat in front of her casket for over an hour, my hand resting on her tiny chest. At the moment I touched her, I was gone from the funeral home and encapsulated by the most beautiful bright white light I’d ever seen. I was completely at peace. There was no sadness, no regret, no pain. Just pure bliss. I could hear my daughter laughing and running through the light. I will never forget how cheerful her voice was when she told me, “Don’t worry, Mommy. I’m happy here.” Those words began my walk with God and carried me through the next twenty years as I dealt with the pain of her absence. God, in His great mercy, had allowed me to visit her forever home where He lived. It was such a vibrant, amazing visit that I’ll never forget it. And that was thirty years ago.

I thought I had learned a lot in the last thirty years. But it wasn’t enough to prepare me for the death of my second child just weeks before her 19th birthday. I waited to talk to her at her funeral like my first child had. But she didn’t. However, God opened up communication between us that has remained since she passed. I feel her, she visits me, and she communicates in ways that let me know she is always at my side. I believe she is one of my guides now, helping me put into words the experiences we have. I am convinced that it is my destiny to write about what I’ve encountered and to help bring the love of spirit into the lives of those who read my books and enjoy my art.

Life isn’t about who’s better or who owns what. Life is about learning and valuing each other. It is about growing into a person of deeper kindness, compassion and resilience. It is about turning to our Father and creator-the one who loves us and knows us better than we even know ourselves. And that is a lifetime commitment of deepening trust and understanding. Things that only grace can provide. It is my hope that I will increasingly gain that type of wisdom each day I walk out my time on this planet. And it is my prayer that everyone and everything will learn to live in the grace and mercy that life of that magnitude invites.

Your Heart Will Lead You

There are so many reasons why it is important to have a childlike faith. And one of the reasons is because of your heart condition. Not your physical heart but your spiritual heart. The heart of who you are as a living being.

Children are amazing because they are accepting, kind, caring and peaceful-unless an adult changes that reality for them. Children come into the world needing their parents, needing someone to watch over them and guide them, someone who will keep them safe from the storms of life. We are God’s children. And we need Him more than any written word besides the Bible itself can tell us.

This world has a way of jading us. Of creating hardness in us. It is a world full of pain, anger and deceit. We as people on this planet have to find our way through the muck and mire into places of happiness and peace. If we look at the world system as a way to lead us, we will always be let down. Forsaken. Deluded by lies. Let’s face it: things that happen on this planet can be very difficult to endure. That’s why a childlike faith is so important.

We try to figure out the answers, to create solutions to every problem. But sometimes there are no solutions. What can someone say when their child dies? When a child becomes sick with a deadly disease like cancer? When a family loses their income and home because a parent gets sick or is fired from their job? There are so many devastating scenarios that I could write paragraphs of them. When it comes right down to it, we need to trust something or someone. When we put that trust in other people, we eventually will be let down because all people have flaws. Nobody is perfect. Except our Father and Creator.

We have the choice to discern and follow the advice of others or the promptings of Spirit. Since God is perfect, we can decide to follow Him. He can be the maker and ruler of the path of our life. I found out a long time ago that He knows best. So I decided to follow His lead.

Truths of this world are transient and brief. A “truth” may hold up for a long time but eventually it will be discarded for another truth. Such as the discoveries of science. And the discoveries of technology and sociological norms and theories. We always seem to be led to new ways of insight and understanding. This is because Spirit is so vast that humanity could spend eternity attempting to figure things out and never come up with answers, or spiritual truths, to everything. Unless we allow Spirit into our hearts. Then we can have a taste of actual truth.

Our hearts lead us and guide us. The words we speak come from our hearts, or who we are deep in our core. If you are looking for explanations and understanding, let your heart guide you into eternal realms. The ways of God are a mystery, but He is willing to unfold some of His wisdom to help us end well. That’s what I’m hoping for, along with being able to join my children in Heaven one day and gain complete understanding as to why they had to leave and what their absence accomplished in me. I have some ideas but certainly nothing near completion. I know I crave completion. How about you? Do you long to understand things that don’t seem to add up? Things that haunt you and don’t make sense? If so, there is Someone waiting to take you by the hand and lead you into beautiful, inspiring places-even when life is hard. Give it a chance and heal your heart condition. You will discover insights that will truly amaze and comfort you!

Breath Of Life available here.

Why Weaknesses Can Be Strengths

When I was younger, I was ashamed of my weaknesses. I wondered why I had so many problems and insecurities. I saw my weaknesses as pitfalls, or very negative aspects of myself. Only as I got older did I learn that my weaknesses could be strengths.

Your weaknesses cause you to seek help-to ask others for insight. That is a huge strength because no one is an island. We all need each other and asking for guidance is a very powerful way to not only get to know others intimately but also to learn more about ourselves. When we look at life from another person’s perspective, we learn more about life, ourselves and how we fit into society.

Your weaknesses also cause you to approach others which helps you realize and understand that you are part of a whole community and world. When you see that others have an answer you can’t provide, you gain respect for your fellow man. That is integral in being a valued member of society as a whole.

Your weaknesses also cause you to re-evaluate your life and your position in society. When you know your weaknesses, it also introduces you to your strengths. Your weaknesses help you to evaluate what you are good at and what you should do with your life. Knowing your weaknesses helps you to determine your life path and your destiny!

Your weaknesses also teach you appreciation and gratitude. When you see that you rely on others for help, you are grateful for them. You appreciate how you fit in like a puzzle with the people around you. And you also understand that nobody is perfect which ultimately causes you to value yourself more. You learn to respect who you are and not feel bad about yourself because you have weaknesses. You stop seeking perfection because you know it doesn’t exist. Therefore, you become a happier person.

When you know your strengths and weaknesses, you are able to move forward in life developing the things you are good at. It not only helps you to shine but it also helps others to shine around you!

Spiritual Peace

Peace is such an important facet of life. We can’t become who we are truly meant to be unless we are able to find peace and maintain the state of peacefulness. In the rough and tumble tumult of society these days, it is imperative that we stop to “smell the roses”. It is so easy to get caught up in all of the craziness of trying to succeed. The truth is, we already have what we need to succeed inside of us. All we have to do is go to a quiet state of mind and realize what our talents and strong points are. Spirit, in great wisdom, has given us these gifts to use in life. That is where we find our truest, most enjoyable forms of success-in the gifts we’ve already been given!

Spiritual peace is different from peace the world gives. Worldly peace is temporary and at times fleeting. Spiritual peace comes from our deepest self, or spirit. Even during hardship, we can look inward to our depth of relationship with our Creator. We all are connected with love and light. That central core of our being is the key and link to what our destiny consists of. Connect what that and you will be unstoppable!

The Benefits Of Tears

Do you ever wonder why we cry? So often we believe that tears are a sign of weakness. Have you ever been told that you’re a “crybaby”? Unfortunately our society devalues tears. However, tears are actually cleansing. If you’ve been through trauma, tears are a good thing. They help us purge negative emotions and thoughts. Tears need to be felt, released and then understood. Tears can be a misguiding influence at times if we feel the pain, cry and continue to be stuck in it. But if we feel the pain, cry and learn from it tears are a beautiful thing.

It is actually a sign of strength to show weakness. It is so easy to hide from hardship instead of having the approach of learning from it. When times get down and dirty, like death, divorce or financial distress, it can be so easy to get mad and want to get even. It takes great strength to feel the pain, learn from it and move on. I can almost hear you asking, “How do you move on when someone dies?” My answer: you learn from the situation, decide to be grateful for what you had and make the most out of your future to honor that situation.

When my children passed, I wanted to be angry. And I was for quite a while. But then I knew that I had to find good in the heartbreak and use that wisdom to move forward in becoming a better person any way that I felt I was being led to do so. And out of their loss came my books and my art. It was an outlet for me to not only help myself but to also help others who have experienced the same types of things head on. And when I was reeling from the effects of being abused and molested, I knew I had to find a way to make some good come out of all the agony and negativity. That was another reason why I wrote my books, talking about my life and healing journey to help myself and others. Gut wrenching pain like that needs to be acknowledged. And the journey of healing needs to be shared so that others affected by the strain and pain of difficulty can know that there is hope for better days to come.

This life isn’t easy. For anyone. Some go through more than others but the struggle of pain is universal. When we understand why we cry and why God gave us tears in the first place, we know that He wants us to learn from hardship the truth of His reality. He’s in the healing business. He’s in the business of growth and understanding. When we experience trouble,. we gain wisdom and insight not only into ourselves and others but also life in general. This world is a place to stretch and expand into a more loving, creative version of ourselves in His image. And with His depth of character and wisdom, the most effective way I have learned was through the pain I suffered. Fun is great and success is amazing but we can’t be “well rounded” beings without understanding both the valleys and the mountains. I believe God gave us tears, in His great mercy, to empower us to withstand those lessons. So if you’re having a particularly difficult time processing your pain, try the stance of being grateful for your tears. That in itself is an empowering lesson!

“Why Did You Leave Me?” available here.

A Recent Testimony

About a week ago when I was praying, I asked a question. It was something I have been wondering about for a while now. In order to have this make sense, I need to explain that I have two children buried next to each other in the same cemetery. One died after ten hours and the other died after nearly nineteen years. My question was this: “Why, Father (God) do you promise to bless us with long, meaningful lives and then let some of us die so young?”

I truly didn’t understand what the answer could possibly be. I have prayed that prayer so many times, believing and hoping for my loved ones to have long, earthly, happy lives. And I had been wrong twice with my own children and watched so many other young people die. It made no sense to me.

A few days ago, I was listening to a message online and I received the answer. No matter how old we are when we leave this planet, we are blessed with long, meaningful lives. He said, “You never truly die. You only change form. You live forever.”

I guess I should have been able to figure that out but the answer always eluded me. Because I was focused on this life-Earth life. I didn’t consider the transformation of death to be a continuation. I knew we transformed but always considered it a new beginning. And it is in many ways. But in other ways, it is a continuation of our time here. They joy of having an eternal perspective is so beautiful! I just wanted to pass my little revelation along!

Forgiveness

I feel led to write about forgiveness today. I have been going through a lot in my personal life. My father is clinging to existence and is having a lot of trouble dealing with the fact that he will be leaving us at some point. The family history and current situation has prompted me to think about forgiveness once again.

My life has been rough like many of yours. We have had our share of angst, anger and hurt in our family history. All types of it. I have spent years trying to overcome the demons of the past. Once I began writing about my life, I started to heal. No sooner had I begun publishing books, but my youngest daughter passed away just before her nineteenth birthday. Which led me on more rabbit chases as I begged for wisdom and understanding from Spirit. It’s been a long couple of years. During that time my earthly father became suddenly ill and has been waxing and waning in health issues for a while now.

It’s really interesting when hardship strikes. It has a way of bringing out the best and the worst in you all at the same time. Everyone in the family has been affected and it has brought the topic of forgiveness into the limelight.

People used to tell me to forgive. Counselors, friends, some family members. I thought, “If you’re telling me that what happened to me was okay, you’re nuts. I’m not forgiving those who molested me and abused me.” But I’ve come a long way since then. I’ve learned that forgiveness is a gift which we give ourselves. Forgiveness is a gift from Spirit. It’s a gift that lets us know we are loved and cared for by Spirit and that we will heal.

When I talk about forgiveness, I don’t talk about forgetting. I talk about accepting and moving on. When you’ve been mortally wounded in your life, you can’t just forget it. But you can learn to give it to God and set yourself free.

Sending some Sonshine available here.

There’s a big misconception about forgiveness. The misunderstanding which blindsides us and creates rigidity in our spirits is the concept of forgetting. If you were molested, raped, beaten, verbally abused or endured any type of debilitating trauma, I know you can’t forget it. So many people bristle at the topic and dig their feet in, promising themselves they will never forgive. But the truth of the matter is, when you forgive you are giving the pain to Spirit and asking for help. You will find that your heart will soften and you will begin to be able to receive understanding and empathy which will override your anger. After that, you will further notice that the pain of the past will begin to fade. If you take it a step beyond and decide to help others who have been through and are going through what you’ve experienced, you will turn the negativity into positivity. You will be able to teach those who have suffered like you how to transform themselves into better, more loving people because of the hardships they have endured. It really is a beautiful thing. A design of love and light.

There is nothing as precious as helping a fellow human being discover freedom. And quite honestly, if you’ve experienced trauma, it can lead to deeper freedom because of the wisdom and understanding you’ll receive as you let it go and give it to Spirit. I know it sounds strange, but it will deepen you to an internal point that will create more strength, dignity and respect within you. A sort of light that will lead others to truth.

I’m right with you in agreeing that this life is hard. But with a decision to forgive-and that is what forgiveness is-then we are learning to spread our spiritual wings and fly. Good can come from difficulty and pain. If you learn to believe it and embrace new possibilities, you will find yourself a much more fulfilled and peaceful person. It’s only a matter of time!

Essence Of Soul

What happens when we leave this earth? Where do we go? What do we do? Age old questions of uncertainty. As I speak, my father is wondering what the answers to these questions are. He has been advised to be put on hospice. I am again contemplating the answers to these questions myself. My daughter passed into eternity two years ago and I am preparing for another round.

I have spent years studying the afterlife-since I lost my first child nearly 30 years ago. I have read books, watched documentaries, even delved into a sampling of physics and other sciences. I have read the Bible. I have learned a few things but it seems that the more I learn the more questions I have.

Essence Of Soul I available here

Is it even possible to understand what we look forward to after we leave here? I think as God’s children we will come to know much. But I don’t think we could ever know all. Only God, in His wisdom could ever understand all of the nuances and infinite possibilities that His realm has to offer.

When I was younger, I imagined Heaven to be a place where we floated around on clouds and watched angels fly by. Now I believe Heaven is so complex that it would take eternity in itself just to begin to comprehend all there is to know. I guess I’m grateful for that. Because I don’t like to be bored! So I am looking forward to being infinitely amazed once I get over there. And very much looking forward to seeing my children again.

A parent-child bond is a beautiful thing. I could share stories of visitations from my children; signs that they are still around. And actually I do share quite a few stories in my upcoming book. It was written as a dedication to my youngest child that passed away two years ago. I prefer to say that she graduated. Anyway, now as I prepare to send my father off in God’s love and light, I hope he sees her and tells me that she’s doing well. I know she is. I still feel her around me, wrapped in God’s love. A beautiful feeling. I am and ever will be grateful for that love and that guidance until I too join them on the other side.

Essence Of Soul II available here

I created these pieces of art as I imagined what we look like when we journey Home. I think of us as being healthy, happy, in perfect condition physically with God’s beautiful light shining in and all around us. Overwhelmed with gratitude and peace. That’s how I hope it will be. I look forward to hugging and laughing with my dearly departed ones. Until then, I will write and create art inspired by the beliefs that I hold.

I am convinced that this life is a learning ground. A school for the soul. I know I’ve learned a lot here and I still have time left. So I strive to do my best through the good and the bad to evolve to a point where I can be happy and peaceful here as well as in Heaven. That is what I wish for all of us. And for understanding that we can forgive and move on from all types of hardship, knowing that the harshest of days create in us empathy, compassion and understanding. All qualities that I consider to be of high spiritual significance.

Until next time, take care and try to enjoy your journey. The time we have here really isn’t that long. Even one hundred years happens in the blink of an eye. If we make the most of it and learn from our pain, I believe we have gained enough wisdom to enjoy our next phase of existence!

What Is Forgiveness?

Forgiveness is a concept that many times is widely misunderstood. When people think of forgiveness, they often think of having been wronged and perceive forgiveness as having to completely disregard the perpetrators who’ve harmed them and the pain they’ve inflicted. I don’t view forgiveness this way.

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When I think of forgiveness, I think of letting go of all the angst, fear and anger that a victim holds against perpetrators who have wronged them. I don’t view forgiveness as forgetting. I view it as having empathy towards oneself.

When we hold grudges we aren’t hurting anyone but ourselves. Those who have wronged us aren’t affected by our emotions unless we take it upon ourselves to harm them back. (Which obviously is not a good idea).

The only person who is affected negatively by unforgiveness is the person who is not willing to forgive. Why? Because unforgiveness allows bitterness to become a large part of a person’s life and views. Also because unforgiveness causes disease within the victim. Stress is a factor in cancer, heart problems and a myriad of other health issues. Not to mention the negative effects of stress on attitude and daily habits. Many stressed out people have depression, anxiety and OCD just to name a few issues. I know this first hand because I held unforgiveness inside of me far too long regarding things that happened in my childhood.

When we live in anger, we perpetrate more hardship on ourselves because of bitter attitudes and aggressive tendencies. It’s not a fun way to live. It’s more like surviving under threat than living in peace and happiness. Nobody deserves to have a life like that. We all deserve to be happy. And in order to be happy many times we must change our mindsets. And that includes being willing to let go of anger and angst towards those who’ve wronged us. We can remember and not allow ourselves to be around those people any longer but it is definitely in our best interest to forgive and move on.

Sometimes it seems crazy to forgive. Like me trying to come to the conclusion that I was going to forgive my perpetrators who molested me. Did I want to forgive? No. Because I thought that it meant I had to be okay with what happened and even be willing to go around those people again. When I realized that forgiveness was remembering from a peaceful standpoint and not allowing myself or my children to be around those people I was much more willing to give it a try. Forgiveness is a process. It may take years to completely let go and move forward but it is possible even in extreme situations.

This is a topic that I talk about in my books. I’ve had a lot of forgiving to do and I’m getting better at it with practice. Once I realized I was only hurting myself I knew I had to let go and move on. Because I knew I deserved better. So do you. Everyone deserves happiness and peace. It takes a mindset of wisdom and understanding but it is so worthwhile that even if it takes years it’s a journey that you should deeply consider.

Once you value yourself enough to seek love and good out of life you’ll attract more love and good to yourself because you know you deserve it. What a great way to move forward, don’t you think?

Why Abuse Is So Hard To Heal From

In my books I speak about abuse I suffered as a child. I don't go into detail but I do explain how much abuse hurts. And how wonderful it is to heal and be able to move on. One of the reasons why I wrote these books, which are entitled Breaking The Silence and Poetry and Ponderings, is because abuse is such a difficult thing to recover from. Why? Because it is a taboo subject. Back when I was victimized, people just didn't talk about it. Especially sexual abuse. Victims of abuse feel as though they can't tell anyone. Not only because the perpetrators threaten them but also because it's not a topic you can just talk to anybody about. That's why I'm grateful that in recent years it has been looked upon in a more open way. Victims are beginning to share more about these types of things, which is a powerful step not only for them but for society as a whole.

Another reason that I wrote my books is because victims feel alone and helpless. When somebody invades your personal space, you are threatened on a level that can't be described in any way but terrorizing and dehumanizing. When I was victimized, I was terrified of those who had their way with me. I was a child and I felt like I had nowhere to turn. It is extremely difficult to have someone not only invade your space and body but also your mind. All of those factors go into many forms of abuse. Victims are victimized on such deep, personal levels that they feel 'boxed in' and unable to defend themselves. Particularly when those victims are children.

Victims also have a reaction that is defined as 'learned helplessness'. They feel like they've been ostracised so they continue operating and living in vicious cycles instead of hoping to break free. That is why victims need a voice. Especially children. It is so difficult to make a child understand that what is going on is not their fault. They take on the blame and shame and hold it inside themselves, growing up with a warped mindset that they're lesser people because of what happened to them.

I am so grateful for places like RAINN. It is becoming more accepted to talk about abuse and victimization. This is what we need for people to heal and understand that not only is what happened NOT their fault but also that they have the right to seek happiness and have hope to be able to heal from the trauma. It is only with a societal mindset of understanding and openness that abused people will be able to adopt the fact that they are worthwhile and what happened to them does not define them. Before anyone can heal, they must first accept what they've experienced and realize they have the right just the same as anyone else to find peace and freedom.

A Childlike Faith

(In The Mind Of A Child by Diamante Lavendar)

When you are young, you are expected to act like a child. Adults cater to your imagination and your impulses. They laugh at your silliness. But they scold when you act too foolish or impetuous. Being a child is a wonderful thing if you are living in a safe, happy environment. Being a child can also be torturous if you find yourself in an unsafe, angry environment.

As you mature, you are expected to act like an adult, to see things with an adult perspective. And that is very important. However, I'm writing today to submit the suggestion that it is still important to have a childlike faith even when you're older. Why? Because it makes your path of spirit and purpose a little easier.

This world is many times one of condemnation and indignation. Unforgiveness reigns supreme among people who don't understand each other. Not everyone lives that way, but many do. And we can only gain wisdom about what we've experienced not only firsthand but through those we are connected to. What our friends and family have gone through affects us. Our experiences and our family and friend's experiences formulate into ideas and concepts, possibly rules, within our lives.

This is where spirit steps in. We are coaxed to have the faith of a child. It says in the bible that those with childlike faith inherit the kingdom of heaven. Why would this be so? Because life throws curve balls of pain and anguish at us. And if we can't find an answer to the problems, we develop resistance and anger that takes root deep inside our souls and spirits. It takes courage to have faith like a child when you're an adult. Great courage. You may be labeled as "simplistic" by some. But this type of faith is a great asset because it opens you up to deeper spiritual understanding.

Life is hard. For everyone. In order to "go with the flow", we need to fight the compelling desire to rebel when hardship hits. I'm not saying that in some cases the police and court system don't need to step in. What I am saying is that inside our hearts we must be willing to be pliable enough to be able to bounce back when we are devastated. If a loved one dies, divorce ravages us or some other harmful plight happens, it does no good to live in anger and resentment. If we do we are only hurting ourselves.  We must be willing to yield to spirit's call of childlike faith in order to withstand the storms and torrents of life. What doesn't kill us does make us stronger.

Children are amazing little vessels of hope and positivity. They don't need an explanation in order to forgive and move on. What a world it would be if we could live with that type of attitude. The destruction would lessen so much that it would make this world a much better place. Pain would still be prevalent but probably not running rampant as it does today. Looking at the world through the eyes of a child is an amazing gift and a wonderful, accepting state of being.