Why I Wrote Finding Hope In The Darkness Of Grief

Some of you may be familiar with my story by now.  But many  of you aren't.  It's my hope that the books I write will help my readers emerge from hardship and trauma with valiant trust that things will get better again.  That life will even out and be okay.  That is the core reason why I write.

Over the course of fifty plus years of living, I have experienced quite a bit.  My life has been difficult.  For the first thirty years I felt like I had been pummelled by the hands of fate.  I was disconcerted, angry, heartbroken and depressed.  I had been molested from the age of two to twelve.  From there I became an alcoholic and drug addict.  During those years I got pregnant, not realizing it, and drank and did drugs up until I realized I was pregnant.  My doctor counselled me to have an abortion.  I did.  Now I deeply regret my actions.  Then I quit doing so many drugs but continued in alcoholism.  I found myself pregnant again.  I went into preterm labor and my baby girl died.  That nearly decimated me.  But somehow I walked out of the rubble, though I was stunned and ashamed.  For twenty years I mourned my actions.  It was during those twenty years that I got married and had two more children.  My youngest was born with a rare syndrome.  I lived in fear for the first ten years of her life.  Her doctors told me that she would be fine.  They said she'd lead a full, healthy life.  I finally began to feel as though everything would work out.  Eight years later (nearly two years ago now), she died.  At the tender age of eighteen.  That was the icing on the cake.  I literally threw myself to the winds of fate and felt I knew nothing about life.   After digging myself out of the ashes once again I wrote Finding Hope In The Darkness Of Grief.

I wish I could say life was easy but I know it isn't.  Every day I watch the news with one eye closed (I really dislike negativity now-I strive to stay very positive) as my husband watches TV.  So much trauma.   So much pain.  I realize I'm not the only one suffering.  Everyone suffers at least some time in their lives.  That is why I wrote Finding Hope In The Darkness Of Grief.  And my other two books:  Breaking The Silence and Poetry and Ponderings.  I wanted to help others by letting them know they're not alone.  I wanted to pass on the things that I've learned so that my work could be a place of refuge to my readers.

It's been rough.  "The hard way" is a statement I can attest to.  Over the years I've developed a deep faith in God (Spirit).  My books are packed with spiritual insight and wisdom that I have gleaned over the past fifty plus years.  Without my faith I would have sunk under the pressure that I've been confronted with time and time again.

If you're suffering, or know someone who is, please take a look at my work.  I truly wish to be of help.  I'd love to hear stories from my readers that attest to what my writing meant to them.  Feel free to contact me.  I'm all over the internet-facebook, twitter, instagram and google plus is where I hang out the most.  But you can also find me on pinterest and linkedin.

Now that you know my motives for writing, I'd love to hear from you!

Fairy Houses

Ever since I was a little kid I have loved fantasy. From epic adventures to gnomes and fairies, my mind was always in the clouds.As a preteen I created notes for my siblings from gnomes who (supposedly)  lived in the walls of our house. I loved to pretend that creatures of fantasy were near at all times, just out of sight of the naked eye. I still enjoy thinking about these wonderful creatures. And I still talk about them-now to my grandchild. Who knows if they aren't just hiding in the flowers of our yards, waiting to cast beautiful nature spells amidst the stars of night? As part of my fantasy wonder, I have started to create fairy houses. Here are a few for you to enjoy:

I can just imagine tiny fairies with colorful hair and clothes moving in, their tinkling laughter riding on the wind as they bless the yard with flowers and dappled rays of sunshine.  Oh, what a wonderful dream!  Maybe that's one thing the old nursery rhyme song meant:  "Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream...merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily-life is but a dream."

Freedom Comes After Decimation

Freedom. A word that we love. Personal freedom, financial freedom, business freedom. And of course, historical freedom. I come from America, the land of the free. The idea of freedom is hypnotizing. But freedom comes at a price. In order to be free, we have to be decimated: decimated on a personal level. For some of us that means financial decimation. For others that means mental decimation. For many that means decimation on all levels. Those are the people who really end up experiencing freedom.

I define decimation as being ground to a pulp; as being brought to a state of complete questioning; being in a state of total disrepair. People who are decimated are people who's preconceived notions have been ground to fine powder; people whose assumptions and ideals have been challenged to a point where they are no longer sure of what's true and real. Those are the people who are forced to look around and see the world anew-to understand that they know nothing of truth and that freedom comes only from learning the truth.

Many times we think we know what freedom is-until we are decimated.  Then we pick ourselves up from the dust and rubble and realize we really didn't even know what we were talking about in the first place.  True freedom isn't money, power and prestige.  True freedom isn't winning at the sake of causing others to lose.  True freedom is peace and happiness.  How many of us can say we are truly happy?  Most of us believe happiness hinges on what happens in our lives day to day.  That couldn't be farther from the truth.  Happiness is a peace-an internal knowing of truth-on the inside of us that doesn't change with the tide of life. It's knowing who we really are, where we came from, what we are here to do-and being okay with that-despite who and what is happening around us.   It's our purpose, our mission, our true selves hiding beneath the flesh and bones of our bodies.  It's our eternal identities.

Our nation was decimated by war before we became free. And now as we look around, we see that once again we are being ground into fine power to awaken from the lies surrounding us to seek freedom again. We've lost ground-we've forgotten how much we had to lose to gain what we sought so readily. We've forgotten who we really are.  So now we're being forced to lose what we thought we had gained in order to learn how to acquire what we all want and need with renewed vision.  In all honesty, if we could wake up again and call ourselves 'one nation under God' we'd be accomplishing a lot.  Oneness is part of freedom as is our eternal truth. This knowledge is part of the life learning process in coming to grips with what freedom really means.  Unfortunately it seems life runs in circles. Cycles of loss and gain.  Being ground into a fine powder to destroy assumptions, prejudices and preconceived notions is a way of coming to freedom and truth. We are all born, live lives that teach us truth and then we graduate to heaven to see what this earth has really taught us. How do we learn? Hardship and pain.

Do you feel like you've been ground into fine powder? That you don't know who you are anymore or what the truth is versus the lies? If you do you're in good company. It's common to all of us humans on this planet. When you find yourself in this situation, try to find peace with it. Try to be grateful for the lessons you're learning. Because if you meet these processes head on and refuse to become bitter, you will eventually find freedom-the freedom and truth you need. Remember: some of the greatest people who lived had to fight the hardest and had to lose darned near everything in order to gain what they really needed to learn. Never give up and never lose hope!

Being Frugal

Whether this concept is an old one to you...or a new one...it's still worth mentioning. I know I need reminders about this frequently myself! Here is a message about money...the material possession which makes our society go 'round! (Whether we'd like to admit it or not!)

Be frugal. Be wise. Life requires wisdom in order to succeed.

Dreams are important-they're necessary-but so is living in the moment according to the means at your disposal. If you get caught up in believing for your wishes to come true in Now, you'll find yourself in debt. Take one day at a time with your heart believing for tomorrow. Slowly build your efforts. It's a lifestyle just like everything else.

If you're patient, your efforts will pay off! And you won't have to pay "big time" for that to happen!

Now Determines The Future

 

Now determines the future. Now is the "seat" of tomorrow. Don't project what happened yesterday into tomorrow. You'll create more of the same in "what is to come".

If you want to start fresh, make Now the best you can and see that best going forward into tomorrow. That is the most productive way to correct past mistakes, one moment at a time. And if you slip up or get off track, don't worry or fear. Just realign yourself in a successful Now and the future will be much brighter and better.

Remember: life is a journey and we are all works in progress!

What Does It Mean To Be Fearless?

The idea of fearlessness invokes all sorts of thoughts from people. Mighty warriors, rebels, living a ruthless life, not allowing people to dictate how you live. Yes, these things may be aspects of being fearless but I think there's more to it.  Here are some ways in which I believe it means to be fearless:  Live your life despite your fears.  Let's face it.  We're all afraid at some point in time.  No matter how old we are, what we've been through or who we are, we still feel fear at least once in a while.  The difference between a fearful and "fearless" person is the ability to continue to live and do what you want despite feeling afraid.  Being able to step out into the world and continue on regardless of fearful emotions (in my opinion) makes you fearless.

Realize there is a greater purpose and unity to everything.  Quantum physics has proven that:  everything we see is made of things we cannot see (atoms and molecules) and that a force (light) is holding them together.  All forms of matter are made from solidified light!  And pretty much everyone knows that God is light and the creator of life.  Albert Einstein discovered that time and space were relative, not absolute.  He was quoted as saying, " "For us physicists, the distinction between past, present and future is only an illusion."  (Beliefnet:  How Quantum Physics Proves God's Existence).  So, it has been scientifically proven that there is a greater force holding everything together that creates the reality we are perceiving.  Pretty awesome, huh?

To know you can always start over and make changes.  Nothing is set in stone except our wrongful mindsets.  We all have the ability to start over.  Perfect case in point:  me.  At the age of two, I began to be molested by family members.  It went on until the age of twelve.  I clung to the belief that I was a "black sheep".  A "blight" on the planet of life.  Until I realized that I had to change my thought processes or my life would never change.  Once I began to be more positive, my life started getting a little better.  It's never too late to start over!

To know you are an eternal being.  This life is not all there is.  Though many would like to believe that as truth, it's not true.  Again, Quantum Physics steps up to explain.  Dr. Robert Lanza developed the theory of biocentrism.  Biocentrism states that life and biology are central to our consciousness (being, reality and the cosmos).  He developed the double-slit test where he has proven that light and matter display characteristics of both waves and particles, depending on the observer's perception and consciousness.  Why is this important?  Because he has found that "reality is a process that requires our consciousness."  (Beliefnet:  How Quantum Physics Proves God's Existence).  Dr. Eben Alexander supports this theory, being a survivor of a near death experience during which he was clinically brain dead from meningitis, making it scientifically impossible for the brain to generate any neurologic activity and brain function.  'My journey deep into coma, outside this lowly physical realm and into the loftiest dwelling place of the almighty Creator, revealed the indescribably immense chasm between our human knowledge and the awe-inspiring realm of God."  He goes on to state, "The brain itself does not produce consciousness.  That it is, instead, a kind of reducing valve or filter, shifting the larger, nonphysical consciousness that we possess in the nonphysical worlds down into a more limited capacity for the duration of our mortal lives." (Proof of Heaven: A Neurosurgeon's Journey Into the Afterlife, 2012).

To embrace love and beauty in life despite the darkness that comes with it.  This world is a learning ground for us all.  And learning involves pain.  Tragedy and trauma are some of the best ways to instill new values and understanding in our mindsets, particularly if we happen to be stubborn people.  Knowing that we are here to learn and grow, we must also accept the pain the learning and growing brings.  Unfortunately, that's just the way the proverbial cookie crumbles when it comes to life on planet earth.

To understand that everything has an opposite and to be willing to accept that fact.  It takes guts to admit you're going to die.  It takes guts to admit that bad things happen.  It takes even more guts and willpower to be willing to delve through it.  What could be more fearless?  Light always eventually becomes darkness.  Love many times turns to hate or visa versa.  Lies, truth; life, death.  Polar opposites.  But always elements in life no matter who you are or where you come from.  It's just a fact of being human.

To understand that love is the ultimate energy that heals.  Researchers have shown that by shifting our emotions, we are changing the electromagnetic field radiated by our hearts.  When we are feeling love, our heart beats out a very loving message.  (Collective Evolution:  Science Proves That Human Consciousness And Our Material World Are Intertwined).  So...depending on how willing we are to give love and receive love, we will reap the benefits of that state of being not only within ourselves but also with those near and far from us.  We also have the ability to affect the physical world with our love energy!

To know that there is balance in life.   Good has a way of balancing out the bad in some way, shape or form.  This also holds true of our consciousness.  Even through the death of a close loved one, if we can gather the courage to see the tragedy from a viewpoint of love, we can find good in the bad.  For example, I've buried two children now.  And trust me, I didn't want to see the good in it at all.  But there was good in it.  My first child taught me to believe in God and the spirit realm.  She showed me its reality.  My second child has taught me to live in love and to be grateful for this life and my experiences because they're making me a better person.  Plus, she's shown me that even though we pass from this reality, we graduate to a new one.  We never truly die.  I realize there may be naysayers out there, but I believe completely in what I write about and the spirit realm (paranormal) is one of my biggest topics.  That being said, I believe in balance.  And I even believe in good outweighing the bad...if you allow it.  (All comes full circle to your state of consciousness).

I hope this post has helped you to create some new hopes and reasons for enlightened future possibilities.  May you be blessed and live in blessings!