Forgiveness

I feel led to write about forgiveness today. I have been going through a lot in my personal life. My father is clinging to existence and is having a lot of trouble dealing with the fact that he will be leaving us at some point. The family history and current situation has prompted me to think about forgiveness once again.

My life has been rough like many of yours. We have had our share of angst, anger and hurt in our family history. All types of it. I have spent years trying to overcome the demons of the past. Once I began writing about my life, I started to heal. No sooner had I begun publishing books, but my youngest daughter passed away just before her nineteenth birthday. Which led me on more rabbit chases as I begged for wisdom and understanding from Spirit. It’s been a long couple of years. During that time my earthly father became suddenly ill and has been waxing and waning in health issues for a while now.

It’s really interesting when hardship strikes. It has a way of bringing out the best and the worst in you all at the same time. Everyone in the family has been affected and it has brought the topic of forgiveness into the limelight.

People used to tell me to forgive. Counselors, friends, some family members. I thought, “If you’re telling me that what happened to me was okay, you’re nuts. I’m not forgiving those who molested me and abused me.” But I’ve come a long way since then. I’ve learned that forgiveness is a gift which we give ourselves. Forgiveness is a gift from Spirit. It’s a gift that lets us know we are loved and cared for by Spirit and that we will heal.

When I talk about forgiveness, I don’t talk about forgetting. I talk about accepting and moving on. When you’ve been mortally wounded in your life, you can’t just forget it. But you can learn to give it to God and set yourself free.

Sending some Sonshine available here.

There’s a big misconception about forgiveness. The misunderstanding which blindsides us and creates rigidity in our spirits is the concept of forgetting. If you were molested, raped, beaten, verbally abused or endured any type of debilitating trauma, I know you can’t forget it. So many people bristle at the topic and dig their feet in, promising themselves they will never forgive. But the truth of the matter is, when you forgive you are giving the pain to Spirit and asking for help. You will find that your heart will soften and you will begin to be able to receive understanding and empathy which will override your anger. After that, you will further notice that the pain of the past will begin to fade. If you take it a step beyond and decide to help others who have been through and are going through what you’ve experienced, you will turn the negativity into positivity. You will be able to teach those who have suffered like you how to transform themselves into better, more loving people because of the hardships they have endured. It really is a beautiful thing. A design of love and light.

There is nothing as precious as helping a fellow human being discover freedom. And quite honestly, if you’ve experienced trauma, it can lead to deeper freedom because of the wisdom and understanding you’ll receive as you let it go and give it to Spirit. I know it sounds strange, but it will deepen you to an internal point that will create more strength, dignity and respect within you. A sort of light that will lead others to truth.

I’m right with you in agreeing that this life is hard. But with a decision to forgive-and that is what forgiveness is-then we are learning to spread our spiritual wings and fly. Good can come from difficulty and pain. If you learn to believe it and embrace new possibilities, you will find yourself a much more fulfilled and peaceful person. It’s only a matter of time!

Essence Of Soul

What happens when we leave this earth? Where do we go? What do we do? Age old questions of uncertainty. As I speak, my father is wondering what the answers to these questions are. He has been advised to be put on hospice. I am again contemplating the answers to these questions myself. My daughter passed into eternity two years ago and I am preparing for another round.

I have spent years studying the afterlife-since I lost my first child nearly 30 years ago. I have read books, watched documentaries, even delved into a sampling of physics and other sciences. I have read the Bible. I have learned a few things but it seems that the more I learn the more questions I have.

Essence Of Soul I available here

Is it even possible to understand what we look forward to after we leave here? I think as God’s children we will come to know much. But I don’t think we could ever know all. Only God, in His wisdom could ever understand all of the nuances and infinite possibilities that His realm has to offer.

When I was younger, I imagined Heaven to be a place where we floated around on clouds and watched angels fly by. Now I believe Heaven is so complex that it would take eternity in itself just to begin to comprehend all there is to know. I guess I’m grateful for that. Because I don’t like to be bored! So I am looking forward to being infinitely amazed once I get over there. And very much looking forward to seeing my children again.

A parent-child bond is a beautiful thing. I could share stories of visitations from my children; signs that they are still around. And actually I do share quite a few stories in my upcoming book. It was written as a dedication to my youngest child that passed away two years ago. I prefer to say that she graduated. Anyway, now as I prepare to send my father off in God’s love and light, I hope he sees her and tells me that she’s doing well. I know she is. I still feel her around me, wrapped in God’s love. A beautiful feeling. I am and ever will be grateful for that love and that guidance until I too join them on the other side.

Essence Of Soul II available here

I created these pieces of art as I imagined what we look like when we journey Home. I think of us as being healthy, happy, in perfect condition physically with God’s beautiful light shining in and all around us. Overwhelmed with gratitude and peace. That’s how I hope it will be. I look forward to hugging and laughing with my dearly departed ones. Until then, I will write and create art inspired by the beliefs that I hold.

I am convinced that this life is a learning ground. A school for the soul. I know I’ve learned a lot here and I still have time left. So I strive to do my best through the good and the bad to evolve to a point where I can be happy and peaceful here as well as in Heaven. That is what I wish for all of us. And for understanding that we can forgive and move on from all types of hardship, knowing that the harshest of days create in us empathy, compassion and understanding. All qualities that I consider to be of high spiritual significance.

Until next time, take care and try to enjoy your journey. The time we have here really isn’t that long. Even one hundred years happens in the blink of an eye. If we make the most of it and learn from our pain, I believe we have gained enough wisdom to enjoy our next phase of existence!

What Is Forgiveness?

Forgiveness is a concept that many times is widely misunderstood. When people think of forgiveness, they often think of having been wronged and perceive forgiveness as having to completely disregard the perpetrators who’ve harmed them and the pain they’ve inflicted. I don’t view forgiveness this way.

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When I think of forgiveness, I think of letting go of all the angst, fear and anger that a victim holds against perpetrators who have wronged them. I don’t view forgiveness as forgetting. I view it as having empathy towards oneself.

When we hold grudges we aren’t hurting anyone but ourselves. Those who have wronged us aren’t affected by our emotions unless we take it upon ourselves to harm them back. (Which obviously is not a good idea).

The only person who is affected negatively by unforgiveness is the person who is not willing to forgive. Why? Because unforgiveness allows bitterness to become a large part of a person’s life and views. Also because unforgiveness causes disease within the victim. Stress is a factor in cancer, heart problems and a myriad of other health issues. Not to mention the negative effects of stress on attitude and daily habits. Many stressed out people have depression, anxiety and OCD just to name a few issues. I know this first hand because I held unforgiveness inside of me far too long regarding things that happened in my childhood.

When we live in anger, we perpetrate more hardship on ourselves because of bitter attitudes and aggressive tendencies. It’s not a fun way to live. It’s more like surviving under threat than living in peace and happiness. Nobody deserves to have a life like that. We all deserve to be happy. And in order to be happy many times we must change our mindsets. And that includes being willing to let go of anger and angst towards those who’ve wronged us. We can remember and not allow ourselves to be around those people any longer but it is definitely in our best interest to forgive and move on.

Sometimes it seems crazy to forgive. Like me trying to come to the conclusion that I was going to forgive my perpetrators who molested me. Did I want to forgive? No. Because I thought that it meant I had to be okay with what happened and even be willing to go around those people again. When I realized that forgiveness was remembering from a peaceful standpoint and not allowing myself or my children to be around those people I was much more willing to give it a try. Forgiveness is a process. It may take years to completely let go and move forward but it is possible even in extreme situations.

This is a topic that I talk about in my books. I’ve had a lot of forgiving to do and I’m getting better at it with practice. Once I realized I was only hurting myself I knew I had to let go and move on. Because I knew I deserved better. So do you. Everyone deserves happiness and peace. It takes a mindset of wisdom and understanding but it is so worthwhile that even if it takes years it’s a journey that you should deeply consider.

Once you value yourself enough to seek love and good out of life you’ll attract more love and good to yourself because you know you deserve it. What a great way to move forward, don’t you think?

Why Abuse Is So Hard To Heal From

In my books I speak about abuse I suffered as a child. I don't go into detail but I do explain how much abuse hurts. And how wonderful it is to heal and be able to move on. One of the reasons why I wrote these books, which are entitled Breaking The Silence and Poetry and Ponderings, is because abuse is such a difficult thing to recover from. Why? Because it is a taboo subject. Back when I was victimized, people just didn't talk about it. Especially sexual abuse. Victims of abuse feel as though they can't tell anyone. Not only because the perpetrators threaten them but also because it's not a topic you can just talk to anybody about. That's why I'm grateful that in recent years it has been looked upon in a more open way. Victims are beginning to share more about these types of things, which is a powerful step not only for them but for society as a whole.

Another reason that I wrote my books is because victims feel alone and helpless. When somebody invades your personal space, you are threatened on a level that can't be described in any way but terrorizing and dehumanizing. When I was victimized, I was terrified of those who had their way with me. I was a child and I felt like I had nowhere to turn. It is extremely difficult to have someone not only invade your space and body but also your mind. All of those factors go into many forms of abuse. Victims are victimized on such deep, personal levels that they feel 'boxed in' and unable to defend themselves. Particularly when those victims are children.

Victims also have a reaction that is defined as 'learned helplessness'. They feel like they've been ostracised so they continue operating and living in vicious cycles instead of hoping to break free. That is why victims need a voice. Especially children. It is so difficult to make a child understand that what is going on is not their fault. They take on the blame and shame and hold it inside themselves, growing up with a warped mindset that they're lesser people because of what happened to them.

I am so grateful for places like RAINN. It is becoming more accepted to talk about abuse and victimization. This is what we need for people to heal and understand that not only is what happened NOT their fault but also that they have the right to seek happiness and have hope to be able to heal from the trauma. It is only with a societal mindset of understanding and openness that abused people will be able to adopt the fact that they are worthwhile and what happened to them does not define them. Before anyone can heal, they must first accept what they've experienced and realize they have the right just the same as anyone else to find peace and freedom.

A Childlike Faith

(In The Mind Of A Child by Diamante Lavendar)

When you are young, you are expected to act like a child. Adults cater to your imagination and your impulses. They laugh at your silliness. But they scold when you act too foolish or impetuous. Being a child is a wonderful thing if you are living in a safe, happy environment. Being a child can also be torturous if you find yourself in an unsafe, angry environment.

As you mature, you are expected to act like an adult, to see things with an adult perspective. And that is very important. However, I'm writing today to submit the suggestion that it is still important to have a childlike faith even when you're older. Why? Because it makes your path of spirit and purpose a little easier.

This world is many times one of condemnation and indignation. Unforgiveness reigns supreme among people who don't understand each other. Not everyone lives that way, but many do. And we can only gain wisdom about what we've experienced not only firsthand but through those we are connected to. What our friends and family have gone through affects us. Our experiences and our family and friend's experiences formulate into ideas and concepts, possibly rules, within our lives.

This is where spirit steps in. We are coaxed to have the faith of a child. It says in the bible that those with childlike faith inherit the kingdom of heaven. Why would this be so? Because life throws curve balls of pain and anguish at us. And if we can't find an answer to the problems, we develop resistance and anger that takes root deep inside our souls and spirits. It takes courage to have faith like a child when you're an adult. Great courage. You may be labeled as "simplistic" by some. But this type of faith is a great asset because it opens you up to deeper spiritual understanding.

Life is hard. For everyone. In order to "go with the flow", we need to fight the compelling desire to rebel when hardship hits. I'm not saying that in some cases the police and court system don't need to step in. What I am saying is that inside our hearts we must be willing to be pliable enough to be able to bounce back when we are devastated. If a loved one dies, divorce ravages us or some other harmful plight happens, it does no good to live in anger and resentment. If we do we are only hurting ourselves.  We must be willing to yield to spirit's call of childlike faith in order to withstand the storms and torrents of life. What doesn't kill us does make us stronger.

Children are amazing little vessels of hope and positivity. They don't need an explanation in order to forgive and move on. What a world it would be if we could live with that type of attitude. The destruction would lessen so much that it would make this world a much better place. Pain would still be prevalent but probably not running rampant as it does today. Looking at the world through the eyes of a child is an amazing gift and a wonderful, accepting state of being.

Broken Heart Syndrome

It is actually true that someone could die of a broken heart. When a loved one suddenly and unexpectedly passes away, those left behind can experience what would seem to be heart trouble. It is thought that broken heart syndrome is caused by a surge of stress hormones in the bereaved person. (mayoclinic.org).

Broken heart syndrome can also be caused by other stressful things such as abuse, a dire medical diagnosis, divorce and strong arguments. People who have endured a lot of loss in life are more susceptible. It is possible to have broken heart syndrome more than once in a lifetime too. (mayoclinic.org)

There are 11 documented cases of dying from a broken heart that you can read about here:https://thoughtcatalog.com/daniel-hayes/2015/11/documented-cases-of-people-actually-dying-of-a-broken-heart/

When my kids died, it devastated me. It changed my personality and outlook. As each tragedy occurred, I was affected more deeply. Having a broken heart is real. I began writing about the loss in my life not only to vent but also to help other people who found themselves in the same situations. It takes guts to heal and sometimes we don't feel like we can. In my case, my spiritual beliefs have carried me through.

If you'd like to read more about my experiences and the insight I gleaned from them, I have three published books that talk about my life. Breaking The Silence and Poetry and Ponderings, which have both been very well received, deal with abuse and loss. Finding Hope In The Darkness Of Grief, my most recent book, speaks of the devastating loss of my 18 year old daughter. These books are inspirational and have helped many people already. It is my prayer that they can help many, many more.

Find Your Purpose

We are all put here on this planet for a reason. Each of us has a purpose for our lives that we are here to fulfill. Not any two people have exactly the same destiny. We are all unique with our own talents to share.

I am a firm believer in this. Some of us are born to be business people, others to be caretakers and still others to be artists and myriads of other things. This is a big world with big opportunities. That's why it's important to know what your God given gift is.

We all have hopes and dreams. Those dreams were set upon our hearts as inspiration. Those dreams are the stuff of what we are destined to do. The dreams we are given are as widely varied as each person who lives. As long as those dreams lead us down a road of love and positivity, we can be assured that they are our roadmap to happiness and contentment.

Society needs all types of people and purposes to thrive. People from all echelons. Whether you're a cleaning lady or a CEO you have purpose and destiny. Whatever your destiny is, it will fulfill you. It will give your life a reason.

I started writing as soon as I began to learn to spell words. My poems were ridiculous but I loved creating them. I also loved art from as young as I can remember. Whatever lights your fire and brings hope and love to yourself and those around you, go after it. Let it consume you. When you are satiated by your purpose you can't help to be happy. Don't get distracted. If you have found your reason for living, allow it to overtake you.

I'd love to hear some of your stories. Feel free to message me about your gifts and talents. Together we can make this planet pulse with love and creativity! Just go for the gusto and continue on for however long you've been put here to thrive!

Why I Wrote Finding Hope In The Darkness Of Grief

Some of you may be familiar with my story by now.  But many of you aren't.  It's my hope that the books I write will help my readers emerge from hardship and trauma with valiant trust that things will get better again.  That life will even out and be okay.  That is the core reason why I write.

Over the course of fifty plus years of living, I have experienced quite a bit.  My life has been difficult.  For the first thirty years I felt like I had been pummelled by the hands of fate.  I was disconcerted, angry, heartbroken, and depressed.  I had been molested from the age of two to twelve.  From there I became an alcoholic and was addicted to drugs.  During those years I got pregnant, not realizing it, and drank and did drugs up until I realized I was pregnant.  My doctor counseled me to have an abortion.  I did.  Now I deeply regret my actions.  Then I quit doing so many drugs but continued in alcoholism.  I found myself pregnant again.  I went into preterm labor and my baby girl died.  That nearly decimated me.  But somehow I walked out of the rubble, though I was stunned and ashamed.  For twenty years I mourned my actions.  It was during those twenty years that I got married and had two more children.  My youngest was born with a rare syndrome.  I lived in fear for the first ten years of her life.  Her doctors told me that she would be fine.  They said she'd lead a full, healthy life.  I finally began to feel as though everything would work out.  Eight years later (nearly two years ago now), she died.  At the tender age of eighteen.  That was the icing on the cake.  I literally threw myself to the winds of fate and felt I knew nothing about life.   After digging myself out of the ashes once again I wrote Finding Hope In The Darkness Of Grief.

I wish I could say life was easy but I know it isn't.  Every day I watch the news with one eye closed (I really dislike negativity now-I strive to stay very positive) as my husband watches TV.  So much trauma.   So much pain.  I realize I'm not the only one suffering.  Everyone suffers at least some time in their lives.  That is why I wrote Finding Hope In The Darkness Of Grief.  And my other two books:  Breaking The Silence and Poetry and Ponderings.  I wanted to help others by letting them know they're not alone.  I wanted to pass on the things that I've learned so that my work could be a place of refuge for my readers.

It's been rough.  "The hard way" is a statement I can attest to.  Over the years I've developed a deep faith in God.  My books are packed with spiritual insight and wisdom that I have gleaned over the past fifty plus years.  Without my faith I would have sunk under the pressure that I've been confronted with time and time again.

If you're suffering, or know someone who is, please take a look at my work.  I truly wish to be of help.  I'd love to hear stories from my readers that attest to what my writing meant to them.  Feel free to contact me.  I'm all over the internet-facebook, bluesky, and pinterest is where I hang out the most. 

Now that you know my motives for writing, I'd love to hear from you!

5 Ways To Feel Happier

1. Try meditation. Think about what you're grateful for. Be thankful for the things and people in your life that bring you joy. Remember that each day is a gift as are the loved ones around you. You can't feel bleak for too long with a grateful mindset!

2. Decorate with fresh flowers. There's just something about the bright beauty and intoxicating smell of flowers that will always be uplifting. I believe flowers are a gift from spirit made just for that purpose! Even a single flower in a vase will go a long way in bringing on a sense of goodwill and appreciation!

3.  Buy a new perfume or cologne. Smells make a big difference in how you feel.  When you smell a skunk, not so happy! But a spritz of cologne or perfume immediately tells the brain that there is something pretty amazing in your vicinity! Certain people enjoy different smells, so pick one you love!

4. Take a walk and enjoy the fresh air. There's nothing like Mother Nature to lift your spirits. Just breathing fresh air can change your thought processes. When you realize that the earth is your sustenance, not only do you want to enhance and protect it  but you are thankful to have such an amazing ecosystem to be a part of!

5.  Redecorate your home. Changing your living space is a very influential way to feel happier. You don't have to do anything drastic. Simply move your furniture around. Maybe invest in some furniture throws or new rugs. A little bit of money can go a long way in making your home feel fresh and inviting!

Don't Take It Personally

Everybody has good days and bad days. Sometimes we have bad months or years. It is at these times that we need to remember not to take hardship personally.

We'd all love to believe that life will be good for the most part. Many times we don't want to admit that life can be horrible and that difficulty can plague us for long periods of time. But I believe it is better to realize and admit that life can be harsh. Why? Because being realistic helps us to handle pain better. If we continue to look at life through rose colored glasses, hardships can shatter us to the core. When we see life in realistic circumstances we no longer need to pretend that everything should be perfect. We realize perfection is an unattainable and frustrating goal.

No matter who we are or what we do, there will always be people who don't empathize. And there will eventually be unforeseen circumstances that will come to call. A healthy attitude accepts those truths. When we learn not to take life personally, we will be much more balanced mentally, spiritually and physically.

For example, those of you who know my story know that I have lost several children. After my first child passed away, I felt I had been betrayed by spirit. I was angry and hurt. Bitterness grew inside me like bushes of thorns. I couldn't believe spirit would do something so heinous. I wrestled with guilt, pain and remorse for years upon years. Eventually I came to a place of acceptance. Though it was hard, I realized that there are no laws in life which prevent pain and anguish from striking. And striking hard. In fact, I came to understand that disasters happen. I found my way through only to lose another child twenty years later. When my second child passed, I wanted to give up. I thought I had failed in some way. But I came to understand that life was never promised to be perfect. In fact, the only promise we have in life is that we are born, we live to the best of our abilities in the days were are given and then we leave. I don't believe in death. I believe what we call death is simply a transformation similar to a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis. I learned not to take it personally.

Maturation means growing up. Not only physically, but mentally and spiritually as well. Through the turmoil I've dealt with during my lifetime, I've come to the conclusion that we are here to learn lessons and to improve our responses to those lessons, however harsh they may be. I consider our time on planet earth as a classroom. The bigger the lesson, the more blessed the experience will make things for us beyond our time here. We aren't here to have fun, laugh and party 24/7. Sometimes, yes. Other times, no. We are here to learn more important things such as patience, love, redemption, forgiveness and compassion. If we are able to transform our scars into art forms upon our souls, we have succeeded in our time here. We have succeeded in learning depth, character and making beauty from the ashes that plague us.

If you are hurting or you know someone who is, inspire them to find hope and truth in the midst of their trauma. With compassion and understanding, they will arise from the ashes of their situation stronger, wiser and knowing not to take hardship personally.

Fairy Houses

Ever since I was a little kid I have loved fantasy. From epic adventures to gnomes and fairies, my mind was always in the clouds.As a preteen I created notes for my siblings from gnomes who (supposedly)  lived in the walls of our house. I loved to pretend that creatures of fantasy were near at all times, just out of sight of the naked eye. I still enjoy thinking about these wonderful creatures. And I still talk about them-now to my grandchild. Who knows if they aren't just hiding in the flowers of our yards, waiting to cast beautiful nature spells amidst the stars of night? As part of my fantasy wonder, I have started to create fairy houses. Here are a few for you to enjoy:

I can just imagine tiny fairies with colorful hair and clothes moving in, their tinkling laughter riding on the wind as they bless the yard with flowers and dappled rays of sunshine.  Oh, what a wonderful dream!  Maybe that's one thing the old nursery rhyme song meant:  "Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream...merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily-life is but a dream."

My Interview With The Sacral Circle

I recently had an interview with Janie Terrazas from The Sacral Circle in which I discussed the background of my books and the impact that abuse and loss had on me in my life journey.  Life can be harsh and it can also be beautiful.  I believe that in order to deal with the hard times, we have to develop an attitude of gratitude and perseverance.

Life In A Nutshell

Everything in life seems so important, sometimes dire-until we look at the big picture. The big picture keeps everything in its proper perspective.

Here is my digital art piece entitled Life In A Nutshell.  It's a great reminder to keep yourself focused on what's really important.

The Beauty Of Having A Clear Conscience

Everybody talks about having a clear conscience. Teachers tell their students to act conscientiously, ministers teach about conscious behavior, counselors guide their clients on how to be more conscientious and society itself praises upstanding, conscientious behavior. It's something we should focus on it because it is important.

In this article, I will touch upon why it is important from a personal standpoint to have a clear conscience. This is a topic I've worked on most of my life and it's probably a topic you've heard about in one way or another for most of yours too. So here goes!

First, having a clear conscience lifts you up energetically. Everybody knows that when they do bad things, they feel bad. They perceive life in a much more negative way. When you know you're doing things for the right reasons it lifts you up. It makes you feel better about yourself and life in general. A clear conscience is a pathway to more happiness in life.

Second, a clear conscience facilitates peace. We all know the feeling of having done wrong, of having said negative things to ourselves and others. When we come from a negative viewpoint, the result is a negative outlook. Once we do the right thing for the right reasons and live positively according to what we do and say, we are much more peaceful. It's a natural process and a great way to live.

Third, a clear conscience promotes healing. Have you ever tried to feel better while negativity swirls through your mind and heart? It's not an easy process. When we feel crappy, we act crappy. When we have guilt over our actions or motives we live on a level of dis-ease in all types of forms. A clear conscience gives us the ease and peace we desire, therefore facilitating health and healing.

Another reason why having a clear conscience is awesome is that it opens us up for new possibilities. Why? Because when we clear negativity and turmoil from our lives, peace moves in and we think more about our dreams, our goals and our perception of things. When we are in a space of openness mentally and spiritually, we are more aware of beautiful people and things around us. Therefore we are more awakened to bigger and better things.

Number five touches on the same idea. A clear conscience opens us up to our hopes and dreams. Not only because we are more aware of things around us but also because we are in a more positive space. We are more readily able to dream and facilitate actions that will bring our dreams into reality.

Another great reason why a clear conscience is a beautiful thing is that a clear conscience will bring you freedom. How? Because you're not stuck in the muck of "should've, would've, could've" and false beliefs. Negativity clouds the conscious mind like black smog. If you spend time contemplating false belief systems, (things like, "I've been hurt so badly I'll never recover" or "My life has been so hard I'll never be happy"), you'll see very easily understand why clarity of your conscience will bring you freedom. If you embrace forgiveness, love and the possibilities of good things happening to you, you will feel much lighter. As if a breeze of peace blew into your consciousness. You'll get a taste of freedom and you'll be addicted to it!

Lastly, a clear conscience allows you to change your belief systems. And that's a biggie when it comes to the pursuit of happiness! If you're feeling guilty, tied down by negativity, shameful and angry, you naturally feel that life is bad. You are depressed and downtrodden and believe things will never change. However, when you turn the tables on your mental processes and start doing things for the right reasons and motivations, you will feel the upswing of positivity begin to flow in your life. And as your conscience clears, VOILA! You suddenly have renewed hope and vigor! You believe you can change your beliefs. And that needs to happen before your beliefs will ever change.

A clear conscience is a beautiful thing and requires work. But there are so many benefits to living in that type of mentality that it's worth all the work that's required. So face your demons, put them to rest and begin the process of conscious living! You will be eternally grateful that you did!

Changing Core Beliefs

The first question you may have is, "What is a core belief?" Well, a core belief is something you've grown up with. Something you believe defines you as a person or defines the world in which you live. Many times core beliefs aren't easy to identify. They hide in our subconscious minds and sabotage us when we try to make changes in our lives. Core beliefs are things you learned to believe as truth when you were a child. Core beliefs are set up by the age of six when a person's personality has formed. Therefore, it is hard to come to terms with them-even to figure out what they are- without doing a lot of introspective work.

Many people dive into the topic of self healing with gusto. They read books, think a lot about what they've gone through and meditate. These are all great things to do when you're looking to make changes. But finding core beliefs is digging into your self talk at a fundamental survival level. It is stripping everything in your life, personality and belief system down to the core to find out what really makes you tick. The things you find at that deep personal level are your core beliefs.

Let me explain. Recently, (a year and a half ago), my youngest child passed away. It was devastating. It threw me into a state of questioning about my very existence. It made me realize that everything I thought I knew was a facade-a man made explanation for how the world worked and what went on behind the scenes spiritually. It also caused me to come to terms with the fact that I had a lot of changing to do. I went on a quest of sorts to examine my life and my theories of living. That quest brought me back to my childhood-to the time when I was in the birth to six stage. Once I began meditating and looking deeply into what made me tick, I began to realize things about myself that I had never paid much attention to:  the core beliefs that directed my behaviors and reactions. That was an eye opening journey!

Never did I realize the impact my core beliefs had on my existence. It seems to be something we overlook because they are so deeply buried under everything we've been through. Prejudices we've inherited from our families, false beliefs we've clung to as truth because of what we've been told, observations we've made because of who we've been surrounded by when we were young-these are the core beliefs I'm talking about. These beliefs have profound impacts on us because they are our built in survival instincts, whether true or false, surrounding how we live and what we do. And much of the time they're wrong. For instance, I was molested by extended family members from the ages of two to twelve. I thought I had dealt with the issue fully but I realized I had not. I still was internally waging war with a core belief that I was not safe. It is strange how we can gloss over such important issues as easily as wiping a dirty table. We figure as long as we can't see the dirt the problem is over. That couldn't be more untrue! If you're feeling dis-ease about anything in this life, it's time to do some deep, heavy introspection until you come to the belief system behind it. Because you will find a core belief to blame for every dis-ease you encounter. If you want to be a ninja in the game of life, it is up to you to find the underlying cause for every case of dis-ease you feel. And when you become your life ninja, you will find it. And it will free you! That is why it is so important to dig deep into your subconscious. Every lie you expose will bring you more glorious freedom! And isn't freedom and peace what you really crave deep down? Along with meaning and purpose?

I think those are the most important attributes that every person strives for. If you identify every false core belief, you will find yourself building more and more prosperous attributes in every aspect of your life. So be a ninja and begin your journey today!

Living Up To A Name Or Title

Some societies are concerned with names. Others not so much. But I believe that most of us know how important a name is. It is our brand-for life. The meaning of a name has an impact on the bearer.

Over the years I have come to believe that a name is vital to who we become and what we do with our lives. A name can inspire-for good and for bad. That is why I thought so carefully before naming my children. I am convinced that the first most important "brand" we give our kids is their name.

That being said, I also believe that society "brands" or "titles" people in ways that are less than beneficial. Labels, even if given with good intent, can cause pain. "ADHD, bipolar, depressive, obese, withdrawn", and so forth, do carry stigma which a person tends to take on over time. I do realize there must be a form of terminology to categorize certain things. But I believe it is better to let the bearer know it is not a badge or a sentence. It is only a way to help.

I love the people in society who have taken up this cause. Our words affect us whether we speak them ourselves or someone else speaks them over our lives. Words have an effect into our deepest belief systems. Words are important. They can heal and they can destroy.

My youngest child was born with a syndrome. She looked different from other people because of how her body was proportioned. People made fun of her. It was heartbreaking. But she was a spiritual power pack. Though she felt the brunt of their criticisms, she shook it off and kept on living. She was an amazing person. She ended up succumbing to her disease two weeks before the age of 19. I bragged about her because she was so tough-in a loving, living type of way. Though she was in pain it didn't stop her. Though others threw verbal barrages at her, she didn't quit. She told me she understood that they were in pain and she didn't let it sink into her soul. She was someone I greatly looked up to. An amazing person.

Over the years that I've been on this planet, I've been assaulted by many names or titles given me by doctors, family members and even some "friends". We all have. It's the way society speaks for the larger part of the population. Awareness has to be created regarding labeling and titles. I am very grateful for the lightworkers who have worked so hard to bring understanding to this topic. It is critical in the building up of each individual person as well as the totality of society itself. Watching what we say, what we brand each other, is vitally important. Light begets light. Love begets love. To inspire and to lift up is one of the main priorities we must embrace to bring ourselves and each other to a life of redemption and wisdom. And when we are living that life, we are extending understanding, mercy, grace and compassion on others as well as ourselves. We are branding each other as "valuable light beings with important purposes to share." What a beautiful, amazing world this would be if we all held that truth in our hearts. It would be a utopia, a meeting of heaven and earth, a unity never before known on this planet.

My humble submission would be this: to grow to love and understand ourselves in such a way that we can extend that love and understanding to others. Then we could brand each other with the truth: that we are, each and every one of us, worthwhile and capable of being our very best under the watchful eyes of spirit. Flowing as beautiful particles in a single ocean together with plan and purpose. Promoting good, peace and love. Then not only would we be happier and feel more worthwhile, but we could deal more successfully with the hardships this life brings.

Let's face it. This life isn't easy. There is much to learn, much to conquer. How much better we could learn and conquer in an attitude of gratitude, an attitude of compassion. I make this my personal mission. I pray you make it yours as well.

Namaste.

Life Is A Game. Play It Well.

Dimension means a measurable unit of space. The dimension of earth occupies a space-but only a tiny space as compared to the universe.

The earthly dimension demands our attention. But often we give it the wrong attention.

This dimension demands that we take heed of its specifications. However, we need to learn that its specifications-in a large way- are brought about by our beliefs. What we believe comes true-good and bad. We directly affect ourselves and our personal space on earth according to what our core beliefs are. That is why we must carefully guard our hearts and minds.

Of course, the constraints and freedoms we experience in our lives here are also spiritually determined. There is a path we have chosen to take that we find ourselves walking day after day. Our beliefs affect that path moment by moment, day by day, year by year. Therefore it is important to believe in good so that we end up in a good place-not only here, but also after our game here is over. This is true regardless of what has happened to us. If our lives have been harsh, we need to believe in good all the more!

Earth is a learning ground. We've all come here to grow. If we grow tall in light and love despite our circumstances, we are winning the game of this dimension. Because, after all, "life" here IS just a game. But an important game. A game, if played right, of growth and wisdom. The stronger we are-the more able we are to live according to love and light-the more we evolve.

Hardship is the greatest teacher. If you're experiencing great hardship, you're learning invaluable lessons that will help you evolve into love, light, and truth. Embrace it to the best of your ability. After all is said and done, when you're standing in the light of eternity, you will understand that this life has only been a game of learning. So play it well.  You'll be really glad you did!

Make Lemonade

Learning how to make lemonade from life's lemons is a test. It is hard, it takes grit and determination. It is not for the faint hearted. When I think of the tragedies people have experienced while on this earth it hurts and it humbles me. I myself have suffered deeply. So I can empathize with the pain that others experience. I have come to believe that the strongest warriors are those that are able to make sweet lemonade from the hardships of life. Through death, divorce, illness, mental pain, and other agonies, the people who rise up and stand tall and true are the heroes of life. I call them the peaceful warriors. Those able to cry freely in the face of angst and oppression. My hat is off to all of you. You are a mentor to me. I pray I may also be a mentor to others as I suffer the travails of having been abused, buried several children and dealt with other hardships. Life can be agony. But at the end of the day when we are reunited with our loved ones in heaven, we will finally be at peace. Ride the winds of life with mercy, grace and understanding. You will be rewarded in the end.

Freedom Comes After Decimation

Freedom. A word that we love. Personal freedom, financial freedom, business freedom. And of course, historical freedom. I come from America, the land of the free. The idea of freedom is hypnotizing. But freedom comes at a price. In order to be free, we have to be decimated: decimated on a personal level. For some of us that means financial decimation. For others that means mental decimation. For many that means decimation on all levels. Those are the people who really end up experiencing freedom.

I define decimation as being ground to a pulp; as being brought to a state of complete questioning; being in a state of total disrepair. People who are decimated are people who's preconceived notions have been ground to fine powder; people whose assumptions and ideals have been challenged to a point where they are no longer sure of what's true and real. Those are the people who are forced to look around and see the world anew-to understand that they know nothing of truth and that freedom comes only from learning the truth.

Many times we think we know what freedom is-until we are decimated.  Then we pick ourselves up from the dust and rubble and realize we really didn't even know what we were talking about in the first place.  True freedom isn't money, power and prestige.  True freedom isn't winning at the sake of causing others to lose.  True freedom is peace and happiness.  How many of us can say we are truly happy?  Most of us believe happiness hinges on what happens in our lives day to day.  That couldn't be farther from the truth.  Happiness is a peace-an internal knowing of truth-on the inside of us that doesn't change with the tide of life. It's knowing who we really are, where we came from, what we are here to do-and being okay with that-despite who and what is happening around us.   It's our purpose, our mission, our true selves hiding beneath the flesh and bones of our bodies.  It's our eternal identities.

Our nation was decimated by war before we became free. And now as we look around, we see that once again we are being ground into fine power to awaken from the lies surrounding us to seek freedom again. We've lost ground-we've forgotten how much we had to lose to gain what we sought so readily. We've forgotten who we really are.  So now we're being forced to lose what we thought we had gained in order to learn how to acquire what we all want and need with renewed vision.  In all honesty, if we could wake up again and call ourselves 'one nation under God' we'd be accomplishing a lot.  Oneness is part of freedom as is our eternal truth. This knowledge is part of the life learning process in coming to grips with what freedom really means.  Unfortunately it seems life runs in circles. Cycles of loss and gain.  Being ground into a fine powder to destroy assumptions, prejudices and preconceived notions is a way of coming to freedom and truth. We are all born, live lives that teach us truth and then we graduate to heaven to see what this earth has really taught us. How do we learn? Hardship and pain.

Do you feel like you've been ground into fine powder? That you don't know who you are anymore or what the truth is versus the lies? If you do you're in good company. It's common to all of us humans on this planet. When you find yourself in this situation, try to find peace with it. Try to be grateful for the lessons you're learning. Because if you meet these processes head on and refuse to become bitter, you will eventually find freedom-the freedom and truth you need. Remember: some of the greatest people who lived had to fight the hardest and had to lose darned near everything in order to gain what they really needed to learn. Never give up and never lose hope!

Lightworkers

How to create "zen" on the planet? Love.  We all crave love.  That's why we're hurt so easily when we don't find it...or thought we had and realize it wasn't real.  Love is precious.  It's life changing.  It's essential.  Light workers harvest love.  And they give it away in bunches.  Wherever it's needed.