When Wishes Come True-New Art!

Who doesn’t love to have their wishes come true? Here is an artwork about the wonder and fun of fulfilled dreams and wishes!

Life is a game, or so it seems,
We discover our passions and chase after our dreams;
Some days can be hard but we find our way through,
And hope for the moments when our wishes come true!

Wishes are the stuff of tomorrow and the hope of new promises and outcomes. Wishes keep us going. They motivate us to try harder. What would we do without wishes and hopes? Life would be dull and very melancholy. If you have big dreams, never give up trying to accomplish them. Shoot for the stars and you just may find yourself living heaven on earth!

When Wishes Come True is available here.

Glory Be To God

Image by Karina Cubillo

I believed we’d live out this life together.

I look at your picture-bright blue eyes brimming with adventure,

Your passion for life glowing purposefully from within.

A beautiful soul of love and trust, hope was your anchor.

You knew tomorrow would always be a brighter day;

A nature child who loved to walk in the woods and swim in the rain.

You felt a kindred spirit in every living thing,

Whether it was human, animal or something from the natural world.

You beheld every sunrise as a unique painting created by angels;

You, my muse, my purpose, my true love.

I trusted that we’d be together, that youth overcame

Hardship, disappointment and sickness.

I knew in my heart that a loving God would never take another of my children.

But I was wrong. He took you.

At first the devastation forged rivers of anger, disbelief and mistrust to my core.

Why were two of my children buried side by side in a graveyard,

When children are the lights of parents’ hearts, the promise

That elderly parents wouldn’t spend their final years alone?

My anger became despair; a sadness so deep

That I had to distract myself minute by minute so that I wouldn’t give up.

I had to fight to be there for my only child left to live out this pain with me;

Now the only child with no siblings to confide in, laugh with or grow old with.

My only child trying to raise a child of her own, putting on a mask of bravery every day,

When her soul is ripped to pieces right along with mine.

I knelt before God, asking why? Why again?

I heard an answer in my heart. “I understand. I too lost my son. My only child.”

I was reminded of a passage of scripture:

There is a time for everything under the sun. A time for mourning, a time for dancing,

A time to sow and a time to reap.

And then, like a golden thread weaving through my consciousness,

Hope stirred within me as I perceived the understanding that

The Lover of my soul is not the God of the dead, but the God of the living.

When darkness comes to call, I know the battle has already been won.

All things will work out for good. I need only trust, hope and believe.

An easy earthly life is not promised, but an abundantly blessed eternal life is.

Glory be to God!

Grief Is A Life Changer

When my daughter passed a few years ago, I was beside myself with grief. I felt like the bottom of my life had dropped out and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to believe and I began to question everything that I thought I knew up to that point. It is amazing what the effects of grief can do to you, not only physically but also mentally and spiritually.

I had been a Christian for almost twenty years before my daughter passed. I talked about spirituality every day with my kids. Spirituality was the backbone of my life. But when my daughter left me, I not only felt betrayed but I was so devastated that I begged for answers to questions that only God could provide. I went on a spiritual quest. I even left my home for months in search of answers. And I received many-positive and negative.

While I was on my quest I wrote my book entitled Finding Hope In The Darkness Of Grief. I studied spiritual concepts and immersed myself in spiritual literature and theories. I sought understanding and wisdom. I begged for enlightenment. And I received a lot. But the more that I learned the more questions were raised. God is an amazing, powerful, loving entity that holds so many facets of information and wisdom that it is mind boggling. So I came to a point where I decided that having the faith of a child is a very valuable trait.

Yes it is important to continue learning and seeking. But it is also important to believe without doubt. To know that spirit is powerful, all encompassing and infinite. To understand that human capacity can never fully comprehend all that God is. I came to the conclusion that I could seek for all eternity and still have questions. That is a beautiful thing when you have the faith of a child.

I am one of those people who wants to learn and understand as much as I can. I want to seek and find. I want to grow in spiritual stature. The beauty of a belief system like that is the fact that I can learn forever and never grow tired of finding new concepts to embrace, new facets of understanding to harvest in my life. The concepts of reaping and sowing, speaking and receiving, blessing and being blessed are just beginnings to amazing information that is yet for me to discover.

I was stretched to capacity. I didn’t feel like I could be stretched any farther. But then….spirit stretched me almost to a point I couldn’t handle. It never ceases to amaze me how our limits are tested when we beg to know more.

I have a new book coming out soon. I wrote it for my daughter after she passed. It is a dedication to her life and her love; the legacy she left behind. However, God in His great mercy, has allowed me to continue a oneness with her from beyond heaven’s veil. She and I are tied up in spiritual love and understanding. It has been hard but beautiful at the same time. Some of the concepts I write about in my new book have been alluded to in Finding Hope In The Darkness Of Grief. It has been an interesting journey. One that I will continue until I am able to hug my daughter again in heaven-and through eternity. Spirit holds us together in love and light so that darkness will not prevail.

If you have lost a child or close loved one, it is my hope that the books I write will give you peace. I believe it is true that grief is love with nowhere to go. Fortunately, when we are held together in spirit’s compassionate love and light, our love does have somewhere to go. It goes to our creator and our loved ones that wait for us. I believe that is a key for handling loss well. Continue to feel your love for those who have graduated and moved on. Because in spiritual love and light, our care and concern are received. Our sorrow is understood. We need not fear. Love is a living energy that not only transforms sorrow but also pain. Our love is received and translated to those who wait in heaven for us to join them. They are only a heartbeat away. Love is the transmitter that holds us close, that keeps our departed ones near and dear!

Discerning The Journey

The days

Remind us;

That

What once was

Will not be

Again.

Our memories;

Some sorrowful,

Others treasured;

Pull us back

Into yesterday.

We need hearts

To discern,

Our ever moving

Forward;

On paths we

Were destined

To walk.

We prepare

To meet

The judge and jury

Of the seasons-

Moments of old;

That whisper

What once was;

That speak

Of who

We truly were

And what

We truly wished

To have become.

We eat the fruit

Of our decisions

When Spirit asks,

That we explain ourselves,

Before

We journey Home.

A Fun Christmas Video!

Hello! Today I’m sharing a video that I created for my award winning books. It’s a Christmas video (hint, hint!) that features each of my books published so far.

Breaking The Silence, my first book, is a memoir about my life. Though it is listed as fiction, the story is true except for the fact that names and places have been changed to protect the identities of loved ones. If you or someone you know loves to curl up with a good book, take a peek at the video.

Poetry and Ponderings is also about my life. It’s a book of poetry and prose regarding healing and moving on from rough patches we all find ourselves in from time to time. Rated at 4.71 overall, this book is a great one for poetry lovers!

Also included is Finding Hope In The Darkness Of Grief, my most recent book about the tragedy that befell our family several years ago when my youngest daughter died. Finding Hope is a book of poetry, prose and art. I included a few pieces of my paintings, digital art, mixed media, photography and pencil drawings. The ratings have been wonderful on this book as well.

About a month ago I was approached by an editor of The New York Review Of Books who suggested that I have my work featured in their paper. I happily obliged and now all three books are being advertised there as well. I am humbled and grateful that my work is being recognized and well received. So much pain and hard lessons learned went into this work that it really means a lot to have such a favorable response.

If you have a chance to watch the video, I’d love to receive feedback! Feel free to message me on my contact form. Merry Christmas!

Basic Humanity

Instead of selfishness Consider your brother; God put us on earth To help each other.

Instead of anger Be willing to discover How we can inspire And respect each other.

What is the truth That we live to uncover? To extend a hand And uplift each other!

Why are there millions Of us living together? To see we're all part Of Spirit's creations and treasures.

We are all different Yet the same in vast numbers; We're playing life's game In our hopes to remember:

We search for a purpose, We yearn to recover The reason we're here- To love one another!

Missing You

The truth of your love you left behind, A treasure, a gift that you hoped I'd soon find; You helped me to learn and wished that I'd grow, I never imagined I'd be missing you so; Life seemed so harsh many years ago, Now darker than I ever wanted to know; I'm not sure how to handle this agony and pain, As I look at your pictures again and again; A mother's love is not taken for granted, For children she prayed for and desperately wanted; I'm not sure how I can go on living, But I know you'd tell me to keep on trying. I think of heaven and I hear your voice, In my heart and my head where you left a deep void; I wonder if maybe I'm losing my mind, Because I'm wishing so hard you hadn't left me behind; Celby, Jazzy, my beautiful girls, My love, my passion, my yearning, my world; Please tell me you're still here, right beside me, And ask God to wrap me in his presence and hide me; I beg Him some day to heal these misgivings, So I know I can live in a state of forgiveness.

I am lost without you.  Love Mommy.

Waiting

You are my love;My heart knew you Before you were born.

Together in another realm we laughed, Made plans and shared kisses As we flew through the endless skies.

My soulmate, my child; A love so pure and An innocence undefiled.

Your laugh is a promise Of truth, beauty, And a profound future.

To be apart from you Is like death-but death does not exist; It is merely a lie of a three dimensional world.

Truth prevails and glory remains; Waiting for me in a realm That some refuse to believe.

However, I believe. I know. For I feel angel kisses on my skin, And I hear the whisper of your voice in the heavens;

Wanting to collect me like a flower, And bring me home in your embrace; To my place of refuge where you wait patiently for me.

Never Goodbye

You gave me your heart, I gave you my soul; Your love and laughter, Made me whole;

Nearly nineteen long years, You graced my life; Til the reaper came, With sickle and knife;

Your silence is stunning, Your absence extreme; Every second of every day, Is crushing and mean;

My daughter, my love, The wind in my sails; Taken from me abruptly, Snuck through heaven's veil;

How am I expected, To continue living, When all around me, Is pain and misgiving?

In still, ebbing moments, I remember your voice; Your laugh, your whisper, In this deep, numbing void;

That has become, My new sentence to bear; When all I want, Is to have you back here;

You were everything precious, A sweet gift from God; That was ripped from my grasp, Buried under the sod;

I love you, I break for you, You're the blood in my veins; I beg for an answer, To make life seem humane;

But I know oh too well, The truth of this dark place; I will miss you until, We reunite in God's grace.

Echoes

 

Before you left, You told me Everything: All your pain, And your regrets. I found it strange- The sudden openness Between us, But I didn't consider The ramifications; Until I found Your lifeless body In your apartment. Suddenly the world Came crashing in As I remembered Your haunting words. You knew you'd soon Be leaving me forever And I refused To believe it. Now I'm sentenced To the silence You left behind; And your words That once fell Upon my deaf ears Will echo in my mind Until I too Leave this earth To search for you In eternity.

Dedicated to my daughter who passed last November. I love you, Celby. Please forgive me.

My poem entitled Life, set to music.

I wrote this poem a while ago but recently decided to set it to music. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMHeJpo7ij4

As is everything I write, this poem has a lot of personal meaning to me.  I hope you enjoy it!

Feel free to follow me on youtube.  I have created 20 videos there with different types of content.  I'd love to have you join me!

You Shone Like The Sun On Autumn Leaves

You shone like the sun on autumn leaves, Their remaining life brief before they fell from the trees;

The sun's light was strong, the warmth intense, Just as was your heart; loving, immense;

But the leaves shriveled up and neared their end, Just as you when you left, my child, my friend;

Your meaning lives on in every new day, I begged God for time to extend your stay;

It's a hard lesson to learn that you have no control, Over life, over love, over a darling child's soul;

All we can do is sift through the hours, And beg for provision, mercy and power,

To experience life's sentence of lessons and fate, Before we, too, find ourselves in heaven's estate.

Love us and guide us from your ethereal view,                                                                                 Until one day we are reunited with you.

-Diamante Lavendar

Ominous Clouds

Ominous clouds on a haunted street, Passers by shuffling quickened feet; Ghosts lurk behind windows, and half open doors; Watching, waiting, squeaking furniture and floors; Their time has stopped, clocks are meaningless pieces; Of a life they once knew, before meeting the reaper; Confused and rattled, they are bound to cold earth; No longer feeling happiness, meaning or worth.

-Diamante Lavendar

Available on Fine Art America at:

https://fineartamerica.com/featured/ominous-clouds-diamante-lavendar.html

Peach Blossoms

The peach blossoms reach And grasp for the sky, Watching graceful birds And insects fly by;

They drink in the essence, Of the winds' lusty breeze, And the sweet scented flowers, Growing nearby their trees.

They watch and marvel, At the vibrant colors, Of the grass, the skies, Flowering sisters and brothers;

All in due season, All in due time, There is no worry or pressure, In nature's rhythm and rhyme.

Available on Fine Art America at:

https://fineartamerica.com/featured/peach-blossoms-diamante-lavendar.html

Increase Love's True Grit

Be the best you can be;

It's all you can do;

Put yourself in ,

Another one's shoes.

Re step your reasons,

Your where and your why;

Only then will you begin to

Grow wings and fly;

Pain is a process,

Letdown a game,

For inside each one of us,

We're all made the same.

Once we embrace this,

And dance through our trials,

Life will have meaning,

We'll endure it with smiles.

Heartbreak is a part of

This challenge and course,

If we clear all our hurdles,

We'll break every curse.

So next time a crisis,

Of loss and grief hit,

Don't believe the illusion,

Increase love's true grit.

Dedicated to my daughter Kelby.  May we live by her example of love and light.

Celby

The pain is so deep- Every time I have a memory, Every time I hear a song you loved, Every perfect picture waiting to be taken, Causes bitter tears of grief to awaken My broken heart again.

Everywhere I go- Everyone I meet, people who I talk to, Remind me of you and your beauty; I miss your caring heart, your giving aura of love; You were so much more than the average person Could have ever hoped to be.

My soulmate- We dreamed together, had grand plans, We laughed about silly things, Fought about even sillier things, Then hugged and reconciled, Knowing our love was one quite rare.

My daughter, my baby- My best friend; I raised you to be loving, understanding, A light in the darkness. How could God snuff out Someone so incredibly beautiful at such a tender age?

How could He allow it- When your presence changed lives And your perspective made everything better? Your glow could be felt by everyone who knew you; You made things make sense, you brought life into situations; You were a constant help to those in need.

I miss you, Celby. I always will- Until God has me take my last breath on this earth, Nothing will ever be the same again. The beauty you left behind is agonizing, The purpose you gave us torturous Because you were ripped from us without even so much

As an explanation.

Now Is All We Have

I AM the Method, I AM the Key, I AM the Answer, Please reference Me.

I AM the Creator, I AM the King, I am the Light, In whom creation sings.

When you're in doubt, You know you will fall; Cry out to Me, The Intention of all.

I AM your Redeemer, Of first and of last, I AM the Gatekeeper, Of all time that does pass.

You Are My Bridge

You are my bridge. My bridge to love and light.

You are my hope. The hope of my destiny.

You are my dream. The dream of success which you carried for me.

You are my safety. The safety of love and acceptance you gave me.

Remember me. As your mother, the one who cherished you.

Remember me. As your friend who valued your opinion.

Remember me. The broken one who needed your tenderness.

Remember me. The vessel you poured your light into.

I miss you. The days of laughter and content.

I adore you. Your sparks of humor and helpfulness.

I remember you. My little angel with a bright future.

I hold tight to you. Your memory of rainbows and sunbeams.

I admire you. You lived with a rare condition.

You have great strength. Despite the bullies and false friends.

Though you were different. You were a shining example.

You are an original. Truly one among millions.

Your favorite color. Pink like the passionate sunrise.

Your shining eyes. Deep blue like God's heavens.

Your wavy hair. Red, brown, blonde and gold; a mane of beauty.

Your pouting lower lip. The most beautiful smile of caring.

Your creative tendencies. To make art and take pictures.

Your quirky side. To tie tight knots and laugh heartily.

Your passion. To love life despite letdowns.

Your imagination. To know angels and possibilities.

You are beautiful. Though you didn't believe it.

You are precious. Though you couldn't see it.

You are worthy. Though you didn't realize it.

You are amazing. Though you felt ordinary.

Let me see you. When my heart aches to be with you.

Hold me close. In the times that I'm hurting.

Give me love. Throw your soft arms around me.

Kiss my cheek. So I know you are near me.

You are perfect. Fun sized and abundant.

You are tender. Hugging me with your mercy.

You are gentle. Forgiving and helpful.

You are gorgeous. My baby, my angel incarnate.

God Bless you Celby. I'll write for you for the rest of my life. I can't wait to run into your arms the moment I take my last breath here on earth. Wait for me. Meet me and bring me home.

Death

You think life is forever, At least that's how it seems; Death is just a shadow In your deepest, darkest dreams.

We don't want to admit it, Or dwell upon the pain, But death is waiting for us In its own destined time frame.

Death will come and take you No matter what you say; Your time to leave's appointed In your designated way.

So don't try to deny it Or refuse to believe it's true; Live your life with purpose Until death comes for you.

-Diamante Lavendar

Flowers For My Baby

I miss you. Tell me you're okay.

Since I found you encompassed

Two weeks prior

In the gruesome sorrow of death's embrace.

I never thought

That once again

I'd bury my hopes

With another child;

Life with you

Was fun and vibrant,

Full of feeling,

Loving, wild;

I know you'd want me

To be tough-

To continue on

Life's lumbering pace;

To focus on living,

To cherish your memory,

To center myself on love,

Not hate.

Though I don't understand

What happened that night

When the reaper came

To the call of fate,

I know you'd want me

To persevere,

To feel your love

From Heaven's gates.

I am broken,

I am wrenched,

My aching soul

Screams your name;

But somehow I know

When I'm old

I'll be in your happy

Presence again.

Life's not fair,

Life's a test

Of wading through fear,

Sorrow and blame;

Show me your mercy,

Send me your trust,

That we'll be reunited

In Heaven again.

 -Love Mommy<3