2020

This year has certainly been something out of the ordinary-something nobody could have predicted. I think it can suffice to say that this year has been ‘otherwordly’. Before the pandemic hit, I created a piece of art that fit very well with the onslaught of 2020.

Growing Through Adversity, available here.

The description of this work was written as follows: Hardship in life is inevitable. We will all experience it from one degree to another. Hardship redefines us and makes us grow. Much of it we have no control over. But it can make us stronger and wealthy with wisdom if we choose to have the right perspective about it.

Now that I look back at this work, I find it almost haunting that I uploaded it on my art site on April 24, 2020, with the pandemic hitting only weeks afterward. It is true that hardship really causes us to grow. I find it almost amazing how much. It seems that the deeper the pain and the valley that is forged within, the deeper the insight and understanding we gain. A difficult part of being human.

Then on May 3, before the pandemic became critical, I uploaded a piece as a response to the beginning of the craziness that was befalling us. The work was titled A New World Order. And how strange it has been to see the civil unrest and disunity that this pandemic has caused or brought out among people. I truly believe that unity is the answer to fighting this pandemic and to rising up as accomplished, caring citizens of this country.

A New World Order available here.

The description of this work is written as:

Current events have changed our world;
Hardship and heartache have brought much concern.
A world divided against itself will surely fall,
Unity is the answer to destiny's call.

How true that became after the pandemic had caused economic issues and social unrest. I pray for a better future- a world of unity, cooperation, and understanding rather than division and anger as we have seen run much too prevalent in current times. Everything that has happened has reminded me of Martin Luther King Jr’s statement: "Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that." His words still ring true to this day! I pray we can rise up and adopt that stance in our current societal condition!

Glory Be To God

Image by Karina Cubillo

I believed we’d live out this life together.

I look at your picture-bright blue eyes brimming with adventure,

Your passion for life glowing purposefully from within.

A beautiful soul of love and trust, hope was your anchor.

You knew tomorrow would always be a brighter day;

A nature child who loved to walk in the woods and swim in the rain.

You felt a kindred spirit in every living thing,

Whether it was human, animal or something from the natural world.

You beheld every sunrise as a unique painting created by angels;

You, my muse, my purpose, my true love.

I trusted that we’d be together, that youth overcame

Hardship, disappointment and sickness.

I knew in my heart that a loving God would never take another of my children.

But I was wrong. He took you.

At first the devastation forged rivers of anger, disbelief and mistrust to my core.

Why were two of my children buried side by side in a graveyard,

When children are the lights of parents’ hearts, the promise

That elderly parents wouldn’t spend their final years alone?

My anger became despair; a sadness so deep

That I had to distract myself minute by minute so that I wouldn’t give up.

I had to fight to be there for my only child left to live out this pain with me;

Now the only child with no siblings to confide in, laugh with or grow old with.

My only child trying to raise a child of her own, putting on a mask of bravery every day,

When her soul is ripped to pieces right along with mine.

I knelt before God, asking why? Why again?

I heard an answer in my heart. “I understand. I too lost my son. My only child.”

I was reminded of a passage of scripture:

There is a time for everything under the sun. A time for mourning, a time for dancing,

A time to sow and a time to reap.

And then, like a golden thread weaving through my consciousness,

Hope stirred within me as I perceived the understanding that

The Lover of my soul is not the God of the dead, but the God of the living.

When darkness comes to call, I know the battle has already been won.

All things will work out for good. I need only trust, hope and believe.

An easy earthly life is not promised, but an abundantly blessed eternal life is.

Glory be to God!

Basic Humanity

Instead of selfishness Consider your brother; God put us on earth To help each other.

Instead of anger Be willing to discover How we can inspire And respect each other.

What is the truth That we live to uncover? To extend a hand And uplift each other!

Why are there millions Of us living together? To see we're all part Of Spirit's creations and treasures.

We are all different Yet the same in vast numbers; We're playing life's game In our hopes to remember:

We search for a purpose, We yearn to recover The reason we're here- To love one another!

Mom's Choice Awards

I recently won a gold medal for Poetry and Ponderings from Mom's Choice Awards and a silver medal for Finding Hope In The Darkness Of Grief. I am deeply honored to be part of the Mom's Choice Awards family which is recognized in fifty five countries for excellence in products. Both of my books join my book Breaking The Silence in the Mom's Choice family, which also won a gold medal.Please find links below to all three award winning books:

Finding Hope In The Darkness Of Grief:  https://www.amazon.com/Finding-Hope-Darkness-Grief-Spiritual/dp/1982205687/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1533615942&sr=8-1&keywords=finding+hope+in+the+darkness+of+grief

Poetry and Ponderings:  https://www.amazon.com/Poetry-Ponderings-Journey-Healing-Through/dp/0998167398/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1533617824&sr=8-1&keywords=poetry+and+ponderings+diamante+lavendar

Breaking The Silence:  https://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Silence-Diamante-Lavendar/dp/1502381257/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1533617913&sr=8-1&keywords=breaking+the+silence+diamante+lavendar

A Beautiful Review For Finding Hope In The Darkness Of Grief, My Most Recently Published Book!

Finding Hope in the Darkness of Grief gathers Diamante Lavendar's own insights on how she charted a path through grief, and pairs free verse poems that double as uplifting admonitions ("There is so much more/To every instance/Than we can comprehend.") with prose and the author's lovely color art images.

From illusions of darkness and separation to the realities of harboring false beliefs and following the road to healing, Lavendar's verse and insights follow the process of not only recovery; but finding the kind of empathy and understanding from the healing process that strengthens other connections in life.

The juxtaposition of nature-oriented images and art with these admonitions lends a visual touch to the written word that enhances both with a structure and reinforcement that either alone could not have achieved.

Those who will benefit most from Lavendar's approach are readers who are seeking their own paths to healing and greater enlightenment, who can accept her candid assessments of what the process of grieving leads to ("Death is not an ending but a beginning to a different reality, not only/for the bereaved but also for those who have passed into eternity.").

This audience will relish the message of Lavendar's art and words and will discover not just a quiet comfort offered within the pages of Finding Hope in the Darkness of Grief, but a broader message that holds clues to finding strength from weakness and ultimately transforming grief into a growth experience.

Readers interested in finding opportunities from the great of adversities will keep Finding Hope in the Darkness of Grief close at hand for reflection, inspiration, and ultimately transformation. -Diane Donovan, Donovan's Literary Services, Editor Midwest Book Review.

To purchase a copy, please visit:

https://www.amazon.com/Finding-Hope-Darkness-Grief-Spiritual-ebook/dp/B07F3113C3/ref=la_B00HZDSGU6_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1530436320&sr=1-3

Missing You

The truth of your love you left behind, A treasure, a gift that you hoped I'd soon find; You helped me to learn and wished that I'd grow, I never imagined I'd be missing you so; Life seemed so harsh many years ago, Now darker than I ever wanted to know; I'm not sure how to handle this agony and pain, As I look at your pictures again and again; A mother's love is not taken for granted, For children she prayed for and desperately wanted; I'm not sure how I can go on living, But I know you'd tell me to keep on trying. I think of heaven and I hear your voice, In my heart and my head where you left a deep void; I wonder if maybe I'm losing my mind, Because I'm wishing so hard you hadn't left me behind; Celby, Jazzy, my beautiful girls, My love, my passion, my yearning, my world; Please tell me you're still here, right beside me, And ask God to wrap me in his presence and hide me; I beg Him some day to heal these misgivings, So I know I can live in a state of forgiveness.

I am lost without you.  Love Mommy.

Waiting

You are my love;My heart knew you Before you were born.

Together in another realm we laughed, Made plans and shared kisses As we flew through the endless skies.

My soulmate, my child; A love so pure and An innocence undefiled.

Your laugh is a promise Of truth, beauty, And a profound future.

To be apart from you Is like death-but death does not exist; It is merely a lie of a three dimensional world.

Truth prevails and glory remains; Waiting for me in a realm That some refuse to believe.

However, I believe. I know. For I feel angel kisses on my skin, And I hear the whisper of your voice in the heavens;

Wanting to collect me like a flower, And bring me home in your embrace; To my place of refuge where you wait patiently for me.

Ominous Clouds

Ominous clouds on a haunted street, Passers by shuffling quickened feet; Ghosts lurk behind windows, and half open doors; Watching, waiting, squeaking furniture and floors; Their time has stopped, clocks are meaningless pieces; Of a life they once knew, before meeting the reaper; Confused and rattled, they are bound to cold earth; No longer feeling happiness, meaning or worth.

-Diamante Lavendar

Available on Fine Art America at:

https://fineartamerica.com/featured/ominous-clouds-diamante-lavendar.html

Increase Love's True Grit

Be the best you can be;

It's all you can do;

Put yourself in ,

Another one's shoes.

Re step your reasons,

Your where and your why;

Only then will you begin to

Grow wings and fly;

Pain is a process,

Letdown a game,

For inside each one of us,

We're all made the same.

Once we embrace this,

And dance through our trials,

Life will have meaning,

We'll endure it with smiles.

Heartbreak is a part of

This challenge and course,

If we clear all our hurdles,

We'll break every curse.

So next time a crisis,

Of loss and grief hit,

Don't believe the illusion,

Increase love's true grit.

Dedicated to my daughter Kelby.  May we live by her example of love and light.

You Are My Bridge

You are my bridge. My bridge to love and light.

You are my hope. The hope of my destiny.

You are my dream. The dream of success which you carried for me.

You are my safety. The safety of love and acceptance you gave me.

Remember me. As your mother, the one who cherished you.

Remember me. As your friend who valued your opinion.

Remember me. The broken one who needed your tenderness.

Remember me. The vessel you poured your light into.

I miss you. The days of laughter and content.

I adore you. Your sparks of humor and helpfulness.

I remember you. My little angel with a bright future.

I hold tight to you. Your memory of rainbows and sunbeams.

I admire you. You lived with a rare condition.

You have great strength. Despite the bullies and false friends.

Though you were different. You were a shining example.

You are an original. Truly one among millions.

Your favorite color. Pink like the passionate sunrise.

Your shining eyes. Deep blue like God's heavens.

Your wavy hair. Red, brown, blonde and gold; a mane of beauty.

Your pouting lower lip. The most beautiful smile of caring.

Your creative tendencies. To make art and take pictures.

Your quirky side. To tie tight knots and laugh heartily.

Your passion. To love life despite letdowns.

Your imagination. To know angels and possibilities.

You are beautiful. Though you didn't believe it.

You are precious. Though you couldn't see it.

You are worthy. Though you didn't realize it.

You are amazing. Though you felt ordinary.

Let me see you. When my heart aches to be with you.

Hold me close. In the times that I'm hurting.

Give me love. Throw your soft arms around me.

Kiss my cheek. So I know you are near me.

You are perfect. Fun sized and abundant.

You are tender. Hugging me with your mercy.

You are gentle. Forgiving and helpful.

You are gorgeous. My baby, my angel incarnate.

God Bless you Celby. I'll write for you for the rest of my life. I can't wait to run into your arms the moment I take my last breath here on earth. Wait for me. Meet me and bring me home.

Death

You think life is forever, At least that's how it seems; Death is just a shadow In your deepest, darkest dreams.

We don't want to admit it, Or dwell upon the pain, But death is waiting for us In its own destined time frame.

Death will come and take you No matter what you say; Your time to leave's appointed In your designated way.

So don't try to deny it Or refuse to believe it's true; Live your life with purpose Until death comes for you.

-Diamante Lavendar

Flowers For My Baby

I miss you. Tell me you're okay.

Since I found you encompassed

Two weeks prior

In the gruesome sorrow of death's embrace.

I never thought

That once again

I'd bury my hopes

With another child;

Life with you

Was fun and vibrant,

Full of feeling,

Loving, wild;

I know you'd want me

To be tough-

To continue on

Life's lumbering pace;

To focus on living,

To cherish your memory,

To center myself on love,

Not hate.

Though I don't understand

What happened that night

When the reaper came

To the call of fate,

I know you'd want me

To persevere,

To feel your love

From Heaven's gates.

I am broken,

I am wrenched,

My aching soul

Screams your name;

But somehow I know

When I'm old

I'll be in your happy

Presence again.

Life's not fair,

Life's a test

Of wading through fear,

Sorrow and blame;

Show me your mercy,

Send me your trust,

That we'll be reunited

In Heaven again.

 -Love Mommy<3

Follow Your Heart

Life can be rough. It can make you want to say, "Enough is enough! I quit!"

You throw up your hands In dismay, Not wanting to go through one more day,

Or minute or hour. But life demands that you keep moving, Whether you feel motivated or not.

The trials are turbulent. The road is rocky. Yet you know you must continue,

Despite your mind screaming At you That it's time to quit.

This is the key: Your mind is not your master. Your heart discerns your personal truth.

Deep down you know The right thing to do Is to persevere;

So continue your fight Until the sun of destiny Shines on the horizon;

The explanation of all things difficult Becoming a path of purpose To Heaven's door.

-Diamante Lavendar

Crying For A Savior

The pain you causedHas left permanent scars Like armies of demons In my brain.

I am stilled by agony In unguarded moments Like razor blade cuts Across my heart.

It's been years But somehow Your deathly grip Still holds me fast;

I crawl Like a wounded animal Through the dust and debris Of the past

Crying for a Savior.

How is it That after thirty seven years You still reach me From the coldness of your grave?

Groping and grasping, Ripping my flesh off in layers, Stabbing your evil Through my heart and soul?

Will I ever be free To live as I dream of living Or will I forever be Your prisoner of anguish and shame?

I deserve to be happy I dream of it every day But somehow your memory Always succeeds

At burying me with you in a Hell you so adeptly created for both of us.

I Love You

I L earned O ver everything that V aluing you improves my E xistence;

Y O U.

-Diamante Lavendar

Life's Meaning

  I have felt pressure, I have known pain;

The darkening sun, The advancement of rain;

The drops of doubt, The sting of fear;

The awful regrets, The loss of ones dear;

And I have wondered, The reasons why;

The pangs of pain sting, And the woes of hearts cry;

But then I remembered, The awakening within;

The dawning of love, The forgiveness of sin;

And I came to accept, And to understand;

That all of our days, Are held in God's hands;

The good and the bad, The struggles, the strife;

Are all building blocks, A composite of life;

For it is the passions, The pains, the chagrin;

That have made me seek light, To find hope once again!

Life

From the dust we are made,To the dust we return;

In the days of our lives, Many lessons are learned;

To believe is a key, To take risks is a cost;

To feel true joy and peace, We must understand loss;

Life is indeed a game, That we must play with care;

And its greatest achievement, Is the love that we share.

-Diamante Lavendar

Take Time To Know Me

I am here, child;Take time to know Me;

All of creation Exists to behold Me;

My essence is found In the beauty of spring;

I sprinkled the dust On the butterflies’ wings;

I painted the skies With brushstrokes of blue;

I did this for Me And I did this for you;

I made the grass green Under your feet;

I blessed you with children, Their kisses so sweet;

I sprinkled stars In the darkness of night;

So you would not fear, You would still see My light;

I admire your beauty As you mature and grow;

There’s so much I wish for you, Want you to know;

Be still; hear My whisper In the soft, blowing breeze;

“I love you, my precious child; Take time to know Me.”

-Diamante Lavendar